CHAPTER 3: “WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO, ALL ON THAT DAY!?”
By admin On March 2nd, 2021.
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Well, it had been just a few not-so-short hours after I was no longer an atheist!
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And likewise, it was just a few eye-opening hours after realizing that Christians don’t just “check their brains in at the door” about their “belief system”!
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At last, I now knew why all those Christians looked so happy on Sunday afternoon, as I cut them a slice of beef (at our family restaurant). No, it wasn’t the beef nor even the baked ham they were smiling about (especially considering those thin slices I cut for them!)
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No, it was that they had just been with Jesus! In church!
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Now I was let in on the big secret of why Christians are so “fanatical” about their religion! Just a few hours ago, I had been violently thrust into the “biggest and best kept secret in town”…that it wasn’t just some “cockamamie lunacy” that Christians were deluded into believing! Not even was it some delusional mesmerism or mental disorder, produced by their overwhelming desire to find, “an escape from this doomed-existence…from a hopeless and bickering and dying world!”
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No, it was for REAL!!
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“CHRISTIANITY IS FOR REAL!!!”, was the astounding revelation now flooding my consciousness, like a giant tsunami!
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And so, let’s continue with this true account…
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The Scream – Wikipedia – Public Domain
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CHAPTER 3: .
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“WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO,
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ALL ON THAT DAY!?”
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“FORTUNATE SON”?
(Creedence Clearwater 1969 mega-hit song title)
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I was now one of the lucky ones who had been let in on this End-Game-Exodus!
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I was now one of the fortunate few who were to escape from this Doomed Planet!
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I didn’t know how. Nor did I know just, “why me?”. After all, I was NOT exactly your typical Choir-boy type of individual.
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No, I was probably just the mirror-opposite of that! A Bad Boy! A young and arrogant fool who frequented bars, dimly-lit back-rooms, and smoky gambling halls!
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But for whatever reason…I was now among the redeemed. “Hallelujah! Amen and Amen”!
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And now…just now, it was my mission to get my hands on this mysterious tea…Ginseng. The Doom-saying Comedian-Prophet had spoken! The world was doomed! Its days were numbered! The fortunate few were going to be taken away! And for whatever reason, I and many others were to smoke this ancient Oriental herb!
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God only knows for what reason, (except for its uncanny human-like resemblance, symbolizing that mankind was to be burned up on the soon-coming Judgment Day!)
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But regardless of whatever other reason there might be, I had to get some…and get it, ASAP!
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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license
MI AND L’AU – GOOD MORNING JOKERS – 2009 By Mathieu Linotte share-alike license wikimedia
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8 AM, THE NEXT MORNING…
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BUYING GINSENG…
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And as you can well imagine, the first thing I did the next morning, was to go down to the health food store, to buy this stuff called Ginseng!
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While paying for it, I looked intently, and somewhat confidentially asked the clerk, “I’ll bet you’re selling a lot of this stuff lately!”, to which she replied, (possibly in the same, knowing tone), “Oh yes…a lot!”
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Ah ha! It was just as I suspected!
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After this, I went down to the family business where I worked: a buffet restaurant. My mother and brother were both there in the office, and it didn’t take long for them to figure out that something was really really wrong! I can’t remember what I spoke to them about. Probably about “the end of the world for all those who do not have redemption!”
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Well, that certainly got their attention!
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Korean ginseng Hongsam – wikimedia – creative commons license
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“SMILING FACES, SMILING FACES”…
(Title of the 1971 song by “The Undisputed Truth”)
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Somehow they talked me into leaving my car at the restaurant, and to get a ride home with my brother’s girlfriend.
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Anyway, I knew she belonged to a Christian church of some type, so I just figured that she was one of the “saved ones”. I was in a kind-of, oh…I guess I would call it…uh…a state of melancholy…and…uh…combined with a euphoric…uh…and fateful resignation. Yes, I had resigned myself to accept the “end of the world”, thus putting me into this…oh, a… peaceful/bittersweet/melancholy kind of…uh…stoicism.
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Yeah, let’s just call it a “Rapturous Euphoria”.
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Anyway, I figured that this young Christian lady (my brother’s girlfriend) must also be going through the necessary preparation for whatever was going to happen to the “saved ones”. Not only her, but many other fortunate ones around town, and around the world!
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While she was driving me home, I noticed a few people smiling as they walked along the sidewalk. I asked her if she noticed people smiling more and more lately. She agreed with me that, “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too… people are smiling more lately”.
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“Yep”, I thought, “She knows all about what’s happening!”
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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license
China Ginseng – creative commons license – cropped image – wikimedia
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“I Dreamed about my Mother, dear old Father…and Brother…”
(Lyric from the 1963, Bobby Bare hit, “Detroit City”)
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Now my brother and mother and dad were another story! No, you might say that the bars were my church!
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As a matter of fact, none of us were church-goers.
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And this caused me tremendous sorrow at this moment; to think that they were going to miss out on this incredible opportunity! “Oh that they would only smoke the Ginseng, symbolizing the destruction of humanity!”
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“Oh that they would only become saved by smoking that human-like herb!”
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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license
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“…I’M A JOKER…I’M A MIDNIGHT TOKER…”
(Lyrics from the 1973, Steve Miller Band song, “The Joker”)
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Now, the same afternoon, I had to go into work. And, in spite of my very odd behavior, the restaurant had to remain open. And so, I somehow made it back to work (I just can’t recall this particular detail).
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Nevertheless, I worked through the evening shift.
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But late that night, after the restaurant closed, I finally locked the front doors, and went to the office. I rolled the Ginseng carefully.
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Just what would happen when I smoked this Ginseng? Would I be transported to some heavenly realm? Would I become a different being? Maybe like an angel? What was about to transpire? I just didn’t know. But one thing was for sure. I was going to find out! Soon! Very soon!
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So I took the joint…put it carefully to my mouth. I struck a match. Cautiously lit the joint. Then took a great big drag….
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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license
Joint – Wikipedia – Public Domain
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DABBLED WITH DRUGS…
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Now, I had smoked Marijuana enough times in my past, to know what good Marijuana was. And I knew what bad Marijuana was. And in earlier years, a dozen times (or less), I had taken some synthetic Mescaline (Peyote), mostly small amounts. And one time, some “well-meaning” friends had put something in my wine, like Mescaline. (maybe I’ll tell about that ”bad trip” a little later.)
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But I didn’t really enjoy drugs, nor marijuana, because whenever high, the overwhelming fear came over me that I would never “come down”. And so, I just dabbled in them.
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Joint – Wikipedia – Public Domain
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ONE OF THE CHOSEN FEW…
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But now I was in a situation far beyond anything I had ever encountered! Now I was an atheist who just found out there was a God! And right at this moment I was about to walk into (or rather, be thrust into) something incomprehensible!
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Beyond space and time (as they say on TV)!
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But this wasn’t TV! No, this was for real! This was the end of all things as we know it! This was the door to Heaven itself! And I was about to enter in! Yes indeed! By smoking the fabled, “mankind-root”, Ginseng, I was gonna be…numbered along with the bless-ed ones…among the chosen few…yeah, definitely one of the fortunate sons!
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Nevertheless, it was sad to think that my family and friends might miss this incredible opportunity. I did have one good friend, however, who was a pretty serious Catholic. So he was probably doing this same thing, wherever he was…smoking the proverbial Ginseng-mankind-root, likewise escaping this fiery inferno, formerly known as, PLANET EARTH!
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So as I said, I took a big drag… and held it in as long as I could…and then I exhaled…
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Now really good Marijuana would often give a person a big rushing sensation upon the 
first drag. But the sensation I got from this Ginseng, was more like getting hit over the head with a rubber mallet! I was stunned! I felt like that clown picture on the comedy album I had listened to the previous night (to read about, see previous chapter).
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Shocked!
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Surprised!
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Confounded!
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Something wasn’t right!
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Everything in the room looked different! Like I just now saw it for the first time!
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Judgment Day – Lightmatter burningman by Aaron Logan for wikimedia share-alike license
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THE JOKE’S ON ME!…
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I looked on the office desk, as if I hadn’t even noticed the desk before. I saw a hand-written note lying on the desk. I picked it up. It said…“Sorry I missed you this afternoon, and sorry the others can’t come. See you in a few days, when we can spend time together….love…..(Your Girlfriend)”
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The note was obviously written to my brother from his girlfriend (that Christian gal who gave me the ride, earlier in the day!). She said she would see him soon! Since she was one of the “insiders”, then it was obvious! This note to tell my brother that he was going to be in some sort of paradise…with her…the Christian? The overwhelming realization burst out upon me, that THE JOKE…..WAS ON ME!!!
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I probably read it once again… “Sorry I missed you this afternoon, and sorry the others can’t come. See you in a few days, when we can spend time together….love…..”
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“I’M A JOKER”, BUT THE JOKE’S ON ME!!!…
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“Oh no!” I realized that it wasn’t me that was going to be saved! It was my brother! I was fooled! The tables were turned, as they say! The Ginseng wasn’t to save me! IT WAS TO DAMN ME! AND MAYBE COUNTLESS OTHERS TOO! THIS WAS SOME SORT OF SATANIC JOKE OR SOMETHING!! The devils were probably rolling on the floor laughing, over this one!
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That clown picture was me! The comedian in the pink angelic suit was…my brother! This was a big turn-about I didn’t expect! I was the butt-end of a cruel joke! AND THE JOKE’S ON ME!!! AND RIGHT NOW COMEDY WAS NOT PRETTY!! RIGHT NOW, COMEDY WAS PRETTY CRUEL! CRUEL…BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!
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I could see in my mind that hideous-looking comedian on the front-cover of that album, (dressed like a woman). Mocking me! Saying something like, “Too bad you poor schmuck! Too bad your NOT gonna be saved! Too bad it’s your Judgment Day! Too bad you’re the one going to Hell! The jokes on you, and comedy is not pretty!”
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The above drawing shows this deluded man, surrounded by phony props, causing him to think he’s in Heaven, when actually, he’s about to be dragged down into the lowest Hell.
Comedy is not pretty – Wikipedia – Non-Free-Media-rationale
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APOCALYPSE NOW…
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I could imagine that clown! That clown was me! This whole experience I was going through, was more unbelievable than any horror movie! This wasn’t just a bad drug experience that would eventually wear off!
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THIS WAS JUDGMENT DAY! MY JUDGMENT DAY!!
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(Although I didn’t know about Bible prophecy, I had, however, heard of Judgment Day.)
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A CHILDHOOD MEMORY…
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As a matter of fact, I remember long, long ago, when I was in grade school, back in the 1950’s, as a number of kids were talking together, one warm summer evening on the school-grounds, as we finished up our day of playing. Yeah, I still have a faint image of that scene. I distinctly remember that one of the kids was telling the rest of us about some lady who had seen a vision of Judgment Day.
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And so, after hearing that, I would lay in bed at night, thinking about Judgment Day. And in my young mind (I was about 6 years old at the time), I envisioned all the people in the neighborhood lined up on our grade-school-grounds (just across the street from our home, back then), waiting to be judged by God!
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But that was a long long time ago! And as I said, my 15 years of public schooling/college had pretty much wiped away any traces of such “superstitious rubbish and primitive folklore, all collected in a book of fables, called, The Bible”!
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And now I was an adult. Now I knew all that Heaven/Hell stuff was a bunch of hogwash… a mere 
product of primitive man’s imagination…to frighten people into being good! To explain the unexplainable! I was groomed from childhood to believe in Darwin’s evolution!
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But at this horrifying and fateful moment, I was face-to-face with eternal judgment! Now I had just come to the realization that I had been duped! All that atheism business was just a whole lot of nonsense! It was the scam-of-all-scams! HOGWASH!!!
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But now it was too late! Too late for me!
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Now I realized I wasn’t on the highway to Heaven!
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No, rather, I was actually on the HIGHWAY TO HELL!!!
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Judgment Day – Apocalypse – by Gebhard Fugel
Charles Darwin – by John Collier (artist) – www.wikimedia.com – Public Domain
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“LEFT BEHIND?”…
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Another terrifying thought came to me... ”Has my brother been already taken?” I thought. “And Mom and Dad too?…Are they gone from earth, as well?” Maybe they were taken, too! I had to find out. Could this be the night in which all the saved people would be taken away!? (I’m not sure if I knew the term “Rapture” at this point in my life. I’m not even sure that I knew the concept of a Rapture. It just might be, that the spirit being was putting this entire “Rapture” concept into my mind. I just can’t recall at this point. I knew that the book, the “Late Great Planet Earth” was very popular. But I never read it! I was too smart and too busy for such nonsense like that!)
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Louis Janmot wikimedia US public domain
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“WERE THEY TAKEN?”
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I rushed out of the restaurant, got into my RX-7, and raced home! When I arrived, I first went to see if my parents were there. Maybe they had also been taken! Maybe I would find their lifeless bodies! Or maybe I’ll find just their clothes that they were wearing, simply “left behind”! The house that I lived in was a very recent joint-venture between my parents, my brother and myself. My parents also had a house on Upper Klamath Lake, about 30 miles away. So they stayed in this house when they didn’t want to drive up to the lake.
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I rushed into the house. I went straight to their room. I saw that my parents weren’t there. And it looked like they hadn’t even been there. “They probably stayed up at the lake tonight!”, I thought.
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“BETTER WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, CHUCK!”…
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So after seeing my parents hadn’t been there, I then rushed down the stairs to my brother’s room. I looked in, only to see his lifeless body lying there!
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I shook him to see if he was still alive. He didn’t move! “Oh no!”, I thought, “He’s gone…or dead…or whatever!” I shook him again really hard and long. He finally woke up, and asked “What the H%$#!’s the matter?” I answered, “I was worried about you!” to which he replied, “You better just worry about yourself, Chuck.” He then rolled back into his previous posture, and pulled his pillow over his head.
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And so I turned from his room, thinking about his comment, “You better just worry about yourself.” And as I walked away from his room, I thought to myself, “Sounds like my brother knows that I’m in trouble with God.”
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COMEDY IS NOT PRETTY, REVISITED…
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After this episode, I went to the stereo to listen again to comedy album. This time it was even more terrifying than the previous night!
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CRUEL SHOES…
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As I listened once again, the comedy routines became extremely condemning. Especially this one called “Cruel Shoes”. This is a routine about trying on new shoes at a shoe store. The salesman only has one pair of shoes left in the store, the “Cruel Shoes”. These shoes had razor blades, and other impossible angles and turns making them excruciatingly painful to wear! But in spite of this, the customer said, “I’ll take em!”. And so the customer walked (or rather, crawled) out of the store, with this new pair of “Cruel Shoes”. And this routine ends with another customer coming in, and asking the shoe salesman for a pair of shoes. The salesman says, in a very ominous and mysterious tone, “I only have one pair left…the CRUEL SHOES!”.
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Listening to this was just as excruciating as those Cruel Shoes must have felt! As a matter of fact, I was convinced that the Cruel Shoes symbolized Judgment Day. My Judgment Day! Maybe everybody’s Judgment Day!!
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“HOW TO NOT PAY YOUR INCOME TAXES !”
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There was an especially painful “comedy” bit about not “How To Become A Millionaire, Without Paying Any Income Taxes”. “It’s very simple! Just don’t pay them”, said the comedian. He then continued, “And if the IRS asks you why you didn’t pay them, you just simply reply (very boldly), ‘I FORGOT’!”. Now this was very very painful for me. After all, I had “pocketed” maybe twenty to forty thousand dollars over the past few years from our cash register (1970’s money). And now listening to this comedy album was like standing before the Judgment Throne
of God Almighty! I was caught! I was caught “red-handed” by God with my “fingers in the till”! The comedian continues, “And if the IRS tells you that it’s against the law to not pay your taxes, you simply say to them…’WELL, EXCU-U-U-SE ME!!!”
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Now, this line, “WELL EXCUSE ME!!!” was this comedians signature comedy line. And after the comedian said this, the audience was hysterical with laughter. And on any previous night I would’ve been hysterically laughing right along with them. But I wasn’t laughing now! Now I was terrified beyond words! Now I was caught with my “hand in the cookie jar”! Heaven had been watching me, and I didn’t even know it!
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And there were other condemning cuts on that comedy album, too!
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Stack of money wikimedia public domain
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DIDN’T KNOW I WAS BEING WATCHED!!
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So after listening to this album again, I knew I was in serious trouble with God. Especially the story of the atheist who dies, and finds himself standing before God. This was me! This was just like my own personal situation. “Oh no!” I had been embezzling money from the restaurant! Never knew I was being watched as I did this! But now I knew that there was a God! And He saw me doing a whole lot of bad stuff, over my lifetime! And now it seemed like God’s giant accusing finger was pointing directly down at me!
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And I realized I couldn’t simply say, “Well, excuse me!”
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“SINNERMAN…WHERE YA GONNA RUN TO?”
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I also thought of how I sometimes gave other people a bad time; making fun of “funny looking” people! I was a great mocker. I thought of how I even, once or twice, made fun of crippled people (as I’ve already said). And often mocked people who were “different” in some way. I wasn’t exactly a compassionate person, as a young man. Just stupid, quite often!
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And what about the pep pills I used to buy and trade with friends?
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And I thought of how I would beat people down on real estate prices. I even beat down a few church ministers on their home prices. And what about the matter of adultery? “Oh no! I’m in big trouble!”
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And now, now, I realized that my sinful past was coming back to haunt me! To judge me! Words can’t describe just how horrible it was to be standing before a Holy and just God!
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It was like that old song. You know. “Oh sinnerman, where ya gonna run to…all on that day” Well if you don’t remember, just click here to listen…”Sinnerman“
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Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license
The Scream of Nature – Wikipedia – Public Domain
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WHY DID THEY DO IT IN THE ROAD?
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On this very night, I can’t remember if I saw any similarity between what I was going through and wha
t the Manson family went through, years earlier, as they began getting messages from that infamous “Beatle White Album”. Are you old enough to remember that? The Mansons (followers of Charles Manson) began receiving instructions from the various songs on that Beatle album, as if those songs were specially written for them. Such as “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” They interpreted this song to mean that they were supposed to murder someone in “the middle of the road”! Those messages eventually inspired them to commit perhaps the most bizarre and satanic murders ever committed. This tiny cult, led by that very infamous satanic cult-leader, Charles Manson, were literally dripping in Satanism. They put crosses or swastikas in the middle of their forehead. Manson enjoyed being scary-looking and scary-behaving. The whole Manson episode and trial following was entirely cryptic and crazy and really evil!
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I don’t think I even thought about the similarity between them and what I was going through, at this point. I know that I saw the similarity at some later point in time. I’m convinced the Manson family members were being led by spirit beings, even though at the time they were in the news, I didn’t believe in spirit powers.
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But whether or not it was clear to me at this moment, I nevertheless was going through something very similar. Obviously, it’s a repugnant idea to have any association with Charles Manson’s hideous crimes. But in the interest of truth, the comparison must be made. Fortunately, by the grace of God, I was never involved in any violence. And I pray that they might also find Jesus before they die.
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Charles-manson booking photo charles manson wikipedia public domain
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SLEEPLESS IN SHEOL…
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The rest of the night went…uh…very badly as you can well imagine! The entire focus now changed. No more was I thinking about smoking Ginseng. Smoking Ginseng and becoming “saved” now gave way to the realization that I was in big big trouble with God! My life of sin was now being judged…and I was guilty, guilty, guilty!!!
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And merely saying, “Well, EXCUSE ME!”, was not an option!
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At least, it wasn’t an option for me!
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“WELCOME TO HELL”…
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This spirit became very accusing. At one point, it convicted me that I must die. God didn’t want me around anymore. The spirit also began to paint a terrible and frightening portrait of a fiery Hell. I was given a very terrifying image of what Hell would be like. I don’t know exactly how long this condemnation went on. But for most of the night, I guess. It finally crescendoed to the point where I decided that I must die…even though I would have to go to Hell!
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I began to imagine Hell and how horrible it must be! What made Hell so terrifying was that it never ended! It just went on and on and on and on…FOREVER!!!
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These thoughts were frightening beyond belief!
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Hell – wikipedia – public domain
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“…DEATH SHALL FLEE FROM THEM”
Revelation 9:6
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It was now dawn. I’d been up all night. But now the spirit directed me to lay down. And so, I got on my bed and just lay there. Now, what in God’s name did he want me to do!?!
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I felt my arms slowly raise up as if the unseen being was in control. My arms then went down onto the bed, stretched out, as if I was hanging on a cross position (while still laying on my bed). Okay, so hanging on a cross wasn’t so bad. After all, Jesus did that! But then my arms both raised until they were folded on top of each other over my chest. As I thought about this, I realized that I was in the same position as a corpse in a coffin! NOT GOOD! And as I lay in this position, I felt my heart begin to beat stronger and stronger!
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This went on for some time. It got to the point that I thought my heart was going to explode! But I finally decided that was okay. “Just get it over with!”, I thought to myself.
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But as I laid there, I was very aware that I was probably going to Hell. There was no escape from my destiny. I was going down into Hell, probably in a few moments.
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Pounding and more pounding. Closer to death. Closer to Hell! And closer to the inevitable eternal torment!
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Finally it got to the point that I urinated in my clothes and on my bed. I thought, “Well that’s natural for someone who’s dying”.
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Above Painting : Hell Jan_van_Eyck_Diptych_Crucifixion_Right_Detail_1-wikipedia-US-public-domain.jpg
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“PROPHECY FULFILLED”...
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After this, to my utter disappointment, my heart began to pound less and less. After a few moments it returned to normal. I finally realized that death was not going to happen. At least, not for now. I really wanted to die. But the Grim Reaper had just left the room. (“And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.” Revelation 9:6). But this would not be my last attempt. This was just playschool, compared to what lay ahead for me!
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As I lay there in my disappointment, I heard somebody coming through the front door of the house…Who could it be? Who?…
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To go to the next chapter, just click here …
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SPECIAL PAGE: SONG
Sinnerman, Where Ya Gonna Run To?”
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Listen to this very unnerving YouTube song!
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