.

.

.

.

Have you ever heard a voice in your mind, talking to you?

.

Well, truth-be-told, there are many people who have! And not just those who are considered “Crazy”…like me.

.

Yes, even high government officials, statesmen, celebrities and/or their spouses have admitted that they too have had communications with unseen spirits of various origins!

.

According to Wikipedia, even some of our most celebrated presidents, such as Lincoln and Reagan had attended seances and/or received astrological advice during their presidency!

.

And not just secular persons claim to hear voices (from dead loved-ones).

.

But maybe even millions of Christians receive advice from voices on a daily basis (claiming either God, angels, or dead saints are speaking directly to them).

.

Well, just read this little chapter (and subsequent chapters following), and maybe you will gain a greater insight and perspective into this current-day phenomenon…

.

People Involved in Seance – The Ladies’ home journal (1948) – Wikimedia – No Known Copyright Restrictions

.

.

.

.

CHAPTER 18:

.

“ON SUCH A WINTER’S DAY”

(lyric from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

.

.

.

.

“ALL THE LEAVES ARE BROWN…”

(lyrics from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

 “All the leaves are brown”, as the songsters sang!

.

But the skies were definitely NOT gray! 

.

As a matter of fact, sunny skies were the order of this particular day!

.

But the big old Dutch Elm trees which lined the sidewalks of this old Oregon logging town, were now stripped bare by reason of the frigid January air.

.

And all the grass was, likewise, a dormant brown (except for maybe in some of the most geothermal areas of town).

.

And on this crisp January morn, there was no denying that winter had now fully embraced the Basin!

.

But just like a typical winter’s day in the Basin…lots of blue skies and sunshine!

.

And actually, not nearly as cold as many other places in the good ol’ U.S. of A..

.

Klamath Basin gets cold, but also gets lots of sunshine.

.

SUNSHINE!!! What a redeeming aspect to this little high-country community!

.

Nestled against the foothills of the Cascade mountains, Klamath graces the eastern slopes of those mountains, but also nearly borders the high deserts of Eastern Oregon.

.

Maybe you could say, it’s a hybrid of these two environmental zones.

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

The Scream – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

.

.

.

.

.

“STOPPED INTO A CHURCH…”

(lyric from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

The Christmas at the Oregon coast was very peaceful (see Chapter 17).

.

But now back in Klamath, it was January.

.

And being delivered from the satanic “Chamber of Horrors”, which was my experience up there in Ward #3600, I was now in an infinitely better position!

.

Or so it seemed.

.

And yet, in spite of being freed from that Unit 3600 nightmarish horror-show, I felt void of the spiritual power which I believed only God could fulfill in me.

.

And so, I decided to find a church where I could pray.

.

And I went to one I knew of.

.

The arched doors and windows were beautiful, as was the rest of this building.

.

It looked somewhat like a Spanish mission.

.

And stained-glass windows galore!

.

I figured this was my best chance!

.

As I said in the last chapter, it seemed as though the Spirit had departed from me.

.

I lost God! And I needed Him back! Desperately!

.

And this church looked holy. Really holy!

.

And I didn’t want to be alone—without God…So I would go in and beg for Him to return…

…“Behold, I go forward, but He is not there;

and backward, but I cannot perceive Him:

On the left hand, where He does work,
but I cannot behold Him:

He hides Himself on the right hand,

that I cannot see Him…”

Job 23:8, 9 

.

I somehow heard that they’re always open. Church doors, you know?

.

Maybe some hobo, just coming in from the cold.

.

Or perhaps some local resident in desperate need of prayer.

.

Or maybe even a ‘Mama’ or a ‘Papa’ to get down on their knees and pray for their children.

.

Anyone with a deep need could come here for a quiet house of refuge.

.

A safe-space where one could get alone with God.

.

A haven of rest for the weary soul, in which one could cry out to that oft-elusive, yet Great Unseen One!

.

Whoops! The doors were locked!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

.

.

.

.

.

“I PASSED ALONG THE ‘WAY’…(“Kit Carson Way”, that is)“

(“I passed along the way” are lyrics from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

I hopped back into my little black car (actually dark metallic cobalt) and zoomed off, in search of another church in which to try to regain contact with the Spirit.

(Thinking about that last church, it’s not hard to imagine that a church is just as subject to vandalism these days as any other place. You really can’t blame them for locking their doors in this increasingly decadent/lawless society!)

.

Anyway, I next thought of a big old church which was on the “Kit Carson Way”. “They always have something going on there. I’ll try them!”

.

And so I pulled into the parking lot.

.

I walked cautiously up to the side door.

.

This grand old building was once the community’s local hospital, “The Presbyterian Intercommunity Hospital”.

.

But as long as I can remember, it’s been a church.

.

Well, church is also a hospital too…for sinners…right?

.

It had massive white pillars, and the building was made of red brick.

.

The new hospital, which replaced this old one, was re-named, “Merle West Medical Center”

(the 60 Minutes TV show once unfairly renamed it, “Murder-West” in one of their many weekly hit-piece reports on various people, places, and things).

.

But this once-hospital-now-turned-church was on a busy street called the “Kit Carson Way”

.

Now how it got that name, Kit Carson Way, I have not a clue!

.

Oh yeah, I understand who Kit Carson was. Kind of.

.

But even though I often wondered how it got that name, I never researched it.

.

Maybe someone around here decided to honor Kit Carson for some reason.

.

Well, I just figured that was why; simply to honor a famous person. (Maybe now with Internet I might just look this stuff up.)

.

Okay, I just looked it up online. Kit Carson (photo right) was a scout for John Fremont (painting below) and his men who came to Klamath Lake in the 1840′s, and made camp here.

.

It was a somewhat brutal experience, and a sad point in history for Carson and Fremont with their deadly back-and-forth skirmishes with the Modoc and Klamath tribes.

.

And history says that Carson was angry with Captain Fremont for ordering that deadly retaliatory skirmish.

.

But in spite of this great blemish on his character, Carson, in his day, was mostly liked and respected by white-man, and even Native Americans alike (according to Wikipedia, at the time of this writing. Wikipedia’s info often gets changed, you know).

.

And Carson liked the Indians. Also, he probably had more of a conscience than other men of those days.

.

His conscience caused him sorrow for following Fremont’s orders to execute a dozen or more people during his stint with Fremont.

.

As for Fremont’s conscience, that might be another story.

.

Carson died at 59 of a blood-clot, by the way.

.

I can’t believe I’ve never researched this before!

.

My brother could probably recite names, dates, places, and events on this and any other subject concerning Carson and Fremont!

.

But I just didn’t have enough interest in history.

.

And of course, because of Internet, researching these things has now become much easier!

.

Mazda rx7-1st Generation – wikipedia – GNU-free-user-license

Photo of Kit carson – courtesy Wikipedia. Public Domain.

John Frémont Wikipedia US public domain

.

.

.

.

.

“STOPPED INTO ANOTHER CHURCH!”

(lyric from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas” with the word, “another” added)

.

Anyway, I was glad to find the door not locked, and so I went in.

.

There was a secretary inside, doing some paperwork.

.

I asked if I could go into the sanctuary.

.

She said, with a smile, “That’s just fine”.

.

The sanctuary was not nearly as large as I thought this big building was capable of having.

.

And I was surprised at how—uh— unorthodox everything looked. I hadn’t been to church but very rarely.

.

And always, those churches looked very traditional: pews, murals with angels and cherubs…stained-glass windows & tall cathedral ceilings.

.

And a pipe organ.

.

But not in this church!

.

But here were simple folding-chairs and a portable podium.

.

And there were guitar amplifiers, and mic stands, as if there was a rock band or something.

.

And the ceiling wasn’t even as tall as my ceilings at home!

.

And just white sheet-rocked walls, like in most homes.

.

No stained-glass! No statues! No murals! No angels! No Cherubs!

.

And…no-o-o-o…pipe organ!

.

How odd!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Woodward Avenue Presbyterian Church pipe organ wikimedia share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

“WELL, I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES…”

(lyric from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

Nevertheless, it was a church! I would have preferred the first church, however.

.

It looked much more holy and reverent than this place.

.

But I was desperate! So, this place would have to do.

.

And I got down on my knees in front a folding chair.

.

But then I decided to move up closer to the altar (podium) thinking I could get as close as possible to God.

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

.

.

.

.

.

“AND I BEGAN TO PRAY…”

(lyrics from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”. Actually the original lyrics were “I pretend to pray”, but Mama Cass mistakenly sang, “I began to pray”)

.

And I began to pray…“Oh God, please come back into my life. I’m sorry I let you down. Don’t leave me forever, God, etc…”

.

As I knelt there, I just thought that maybe I felt something like my head move up and down, ever-so-slightly, almost as if He was saying “Yes. I’m here.”

.

“Is that You, God?” (I didn’t really know if my head moved or if I was simply imagining it.)

.

And so, I continued to pray. And I pleaded some more.

.

And afterward, once again, I thought I could barely feel my head nod almost unnoticeably…“Yes”.

.

But just then, several people came into the sanctuary talking together. So I got up and left.

.

Outside I hopped back into my Rx-7, jubilant over the prospects that the Lord of Heaven might be back!

.

As I drove down the road, my head began to nod continually as if He was saying, “Yes! I’m here! Yes. Yes. Yes!”

.

By now, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was so happy!

.

And I decided to just drive. Anywhere! It didn’t matter, now that God was back in my life!

.

And so, up the Kit Carson Highway I drove. Northward! To Chiloquin!

.

My head now nodding up and down continually.

.

Tears still rolling down...”You’re back!  OH HAPPY DAY!!!”

.

I was like that Bible parable of the “Prodigal Son” (although at that time, I knew nothing about that parable of the prodigal son).

.

A son who—at last—came home to his Father! (see Luke 15:11-32)

.

But I was really happy He was back!

.

And I just wanted to go for a drive!

.

I didn’t know where. And I really didn’t care!

.

So, I drove northward towards Chiloquin, about 30 miles north of Klamath Falls.

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Chiloquin OR – welcome sign wikimedia creative commons license

.

.

.

.

.

“I’D BE SAFE AND WARM…IF I WAS IN L.A….”

(lyric from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

Now as I was driving northward, the Spirit began to speak!

.

This was too good to be true!

.

What a victorious moment!

.

And so, He spoke…and I listened intently…

.

“Oh Chuck, I have big plans for you.”

“Why are you talking to me Lord?”

“Oh I have big plans for you. (in Los Angeles!)”

“What kind of plans?”

“Big plans, Chuck. Very big plans!”

.

You can just imagine how absolutely great this kind of news was to me!

.

After all, I had just gone through almost two months of absolute Hell!

.

Now the Lord was telling me that I was in store for very good news!

.

He spoke of my going to L.A. to get back into the music business!

.

Whoa! The music business?!

.

So I asked, “Why me? Am I someone special?”

.

“Very special Chuck. You were someone very special. In a former life.”

.

I just sensed where he was going with this… “Was—I—Jesus?”

.

My head began to nod in the affirmative.

.

“I was Jesus Christ!? In a former life!?”

.

“Yes Chuck. You were Jesus in a former life!”

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Los Angeles (California, USA), Hollywood Boulevard, ‘The_Beatles’ wikimedia share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

GRAND-MAMAS & GRAND-THEFT PAPAS…

.

After this, I was urged to drive to a public park near Chiloquin, about 30 miles from Klamath Falls.

.

Chiloquin was a little town where my great-grandparents settled just after the beginning of the last century, in the early 1900′s.

.

It was originally an Indian village, of the Klamath Tribe, led by Chief Chiloquin.

.

My great-grandparents started a general store, post office, and I think maybe even a small hotel, in about 1905, or thereabouts.

.

“Oh Chuck, I have very big plans for you.

But first let Me tell another reason you are very special.

Besides being Jesus in a former life,

you have someone in your family line who was very special.

Someone I owe a big favor to.”

.

Now I didn’t know much about my family history.

.

However, I did hear that we had someone who was on the “Most Wanted” list.

.

Someone like “Machine Gun Kelly” or something.

.

And I also heard we were related to the Nelson family who starred in that old TV show, “Ozzie and Harriet”.

.

But I began prodding him as to who it was, he owed a favor to.

.

“Oh Chuck, it was your Great-Grandmother. She was a great lady. Oh I loved that lady.”

.

At times, the spirit sounded like he was getting all choked up.

.

Like he was sobbing. But I kind-of got the slight impression that he was doing so in a mocking way.

.

Nevertheless, this story made sense.

.

And I was really happy about all this…uh…information the Spirit was feeding me.

.

Because, when talking to people, I liked to always work into a conversation about my Great-Grandparents starting the first store there in Chiloquin, and My Great-Grandma being the first Postmaster there.

.

But the spirit began telling me many stories about my great-grandparents, and the wonderful things they did.

.

And he kept this up for a while until his speech turned again towards me.

.

“I loved that woman. But I hate you!”

.

Why do you hate me?” I asked.

.

“I hate you because you are a great sinner! And you’ve done a lot of rotten things in your life. But I also love you, because you were Jesus Christ in a past life. And I have big plans for you. You are going to do something very special for Me.”

.

And so began a guessing game as to what it was that I was going to do.

.

But finally, He revealed what it was I was going to do for Him.

.

Photo of the Nelson’s copyrighted. But used under “fair use” rationale. Information provided by Wikipedia. See “Fair-Use” rationale. Just click here.

.

“The Candy Kid”, Richard Reese Whittemore & girl-friend, “Tiger Lil” Public domain www.theweirduniverse.com

.

.

.

.

.

“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’…”

(Title of the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Papas”)

.

“I am going to give you songs. And you are going down to LA to record them! You are one lucky S#%$!&B! You are going to be famous very soon! You are going to write some religious songs, and some that aren’t religious! And with these songs you are going to turn many people to Me!”

.

I always wanted to get into the recording industry.

.

It was my dream for many years! I even moved to San Francisco many years earlier, to attend a unique school dedicated to rock-n-roll

(see the chapter, “One Flew INTO The Cuckoo’s Nest: Do You Believe In Magic?”).

.

As I continued northward, I kept after him to tell me about all my former lives.

.

And so I found out that for nearly two thousand years, I had been repeatedly re-incarnated.

.

And in each former life, I had performed some great thing in the religious world.

.

But He was very vague, however, as to any details.

.

But I did manage to get out of Him that I had been a pope, a number of times. (LOL!)

.

And also, I’d been a cardinal, and a bishop sometimes.

.

And each time I did some necessary deed: some great accomplishment!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Pope Urban – wikipedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

“YOU KNOW THE PREACHER LIKE THE COLD (cold snow, that is!)…”

(word-play on lyrics from the 1965 mega-hit, “California Dreamin”, by the “Mamas & Pappas”)

.

After a while, the spirit directed me to return to Klamath Falls.

.

And at some point southward, he urged me to pull over.

.

He told me to get out of the car. “Now run up that hill, you S&%$ B#@%&!”

.

I ran up the small embankment. “Now fall down, you $%^&#$@!”

.

I fell down into the snow. “Now eat snow! You ^%$#@!” I hate you—but I love you (sobbing) I love you…Jesus…Christ! Eat snow!!”

.

So, I ate snow. But inside I was feeling very good! I’d take this over the “mental ward games” any ol’ day!

.

Even if I had to eat snow…on such a winter’s day!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Snow Angel Man wikimedia the GNU Free Documentation License

.

.

.

.

.

CONCLUSION…

.

At this point, the spirit began to speak of eternal life as though it was re-incarnation.

.

No Heaven! No Hell! Just one lie after another…uh…I mean one LIFE after another!

.

.

.

.

.

A ‘CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ DREAM?…

.

According to John Phillips (of Mamas & Papas) in a Bravo documentary, and Michelle Phillips in an NPR piece, the song, “California Dreamin”, was written in 1963 while they were living in New York.

.

Phillips dreamed about the song and woke Michelle up to help him write it down. (This information provided by Wikipedia, but has since been removed from Wikipedia, or so it seems. Wikipedia’s info often gets changed, you know)

.

The Mamas and the Papas Ed Sullivan Show 1968 WIKIPEDIA PUBLIC DOMAIN

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To go to Chapter 15,  just click here,

 .

Ch. 19 “I AM Music”…

.

This spirit proves himself to be a pretty good song-writer!

. .

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If we would, ever-so-carefully, watch, look, and listen, there are clues to be discovered, which only confirm that we humans are not alone in this so-called “atheistic, accidental, cosmic explosion called, ‘The Universe’“.

.

And this true account of my own personal introduction to the unseen and invisible spiritual Armageddon which rages all around us has various proofs to this fact! 

.

Yes, these proofs can be seen, if the truth-seeker would just set aside his or her skepticism and unbelief long enough to consider these affirmations which are often hidden “between the lines”.

.

And even nature itself has its own various proofs, that we’re not here by some accidental explosion, chaos-to-cosmos, but rather, by the design and forethought of an infinite and loving Creator Being.

.

Just listen to the ancient Book of Job (Job pronounced with a long “o”)…

.

But ask now the beasts,

and they shall teach thee;

and the fowls of the air,

and they shall tell thee: 

Or speak to the earth,

and it shall teach thee:

and the fishes of the sea

shall declare unto thee. 

Who knoweth not in all these

that the hand of the LORD hath wrought this? 

In whose hand

is the soul of every living thing,

and the breath of all mankind.

Job 12:7-10 

.

Yes, all of nature has been masterfully engineered to give us hints and clues as to just Who created all this awesome and beautiful and marvelous universe!

.

So read on, and maybe you will likewise agree (or not agree) with my observations of just a few of the so-called “coincidences” which occurred through the first 50 days of this my encounter with the unseen spirit-realm (which “coincidences are found towards the end of this chapter).

.

Father & Son – Wikimedia – Public Domain

South American Butterfly – cropped image – Wikipedia – Share-Alike License

Family Portrait – cropped image – Wikimedia – Share-alike License

ABOVE PICTURE – Starry Night at La Silla – cropped – Wikimedia – Share-Alike license

.

.

.

.

.

CHAPTER 17:

.

“SILENT NIGHT”…

.

.

.

.

.

About December 23rd, 1979

 .

.

.

A TIME OF REST…

 . 

I had been in the hospital since about the middle of November.

.

It was now almost Christmas. And as far as the mental-ward staff was concerned, I was greatly improved.

.

The “medicine” which they injected in me, seemingly had done its assigned task: bringing me back into normalcy.

.

And I desperately wanted to get out of the hospital! My family was planning to spend Christmas at my aunt’s and uncle’s cabin at the Oregon coast.

.

Finally at the last moment, I was released!

.

The Scream of Nature – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

.

.

.

.

.

.

FREEDOM! FREEDOM!

(1969 improvised song by Richie Havens, based on an old spiritual, “Motherless Child”)

.

Oh you can’t imagine just how absolutely great it felt to walk out of that hospital, free at last!

.

And to hop into my several-month’s-new RX-7, and zoom off!

.

Well, it was like the first time I drove it, all over again!

.

Not to mention that being outside in the fresh air, once again, was like being born all over again!

.

Oh yeah, I was still pretty shaken up over what I had been through for the last two months!

.

And yes, no one needed to tell me that I’d never be the same, ever again!

.

But, the torment had stopped!

.

For now, at least, it stopped!

.

Mazda Rx-7 dash – cropped image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

.

.

.

.

.

AT THE COAST

.

On a high, wind-swept, tree-lined cliff, overlooking the blue Pacific (sometimes green, or gray, etc., not far from this photo, as I recall), were two houses next to each other.

.

My parents stayed with my aunt and uncle in their large two-story cabin.

.

The next-door house, where my brother and I stayed in, was a smaller, two-story, octagon-shaped cabin.

.

Both cabins were just 20 or 30 feet from the edge of a very high cliff overlooking the beautiful Pacific.

.

My brother was probably the only one who could have handled me at that point in time. Not that I was hard to manage.

.

I was just extremely sullen, melancholy, and quiet. Too depressing for most others, no doubt. 

.

But gimme a break!

.

After all, I was still rocking and reeling from the past 50 or so, days!

.

But my brother didn’t usually let adverse circumstances get the best of him.

.

Plus, we had been best buddies since the days we first came into this world!

.

So, this little octagon-shaped cabin worked well for my brother and I…and for everyone else, I suppose. 

.

Oregon Coast at Lincoln City – Photo above by Scott Catron – Wikimedia – share-alike. Click here for link.

.

.

.

.

.

“HEY 98.6, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK AGAIN!”

(Lyrics from the 1966 hit tune, “Hey, 98.6!”)

.

Now, during this Christmas time at the coast, I was returned to my former condition prior to my supposed, “insanity”.

.

It seemed like the spirit had left for good.

.

And while I was in a very quiet and melancholy state, it just seemed that all that spiritual battle was now behind me.

.

Those 50, or so, days had been like a spiritual Armageddon!

.

It was like being picked up in a giant cyclone for 7 weeks.

.

And now I was let back down to the ground once again.

.

This spiritual holocaust was presently behind me.

.

And if ever there’s space for the human spirit to heal, there’s no better place than the Oregon coast.

.

The awesome grandeur of the ever-restless Pacific Ocean!

.

The solitary beaches.

.

The timeless roaring of the waves. 

.

The sounds of gulls as they sweep back and forth above the shoreline, hoping for some new morsel of food to show up.

.

It really seemed weird to not feel the presence of this spirit (or spirits).

.

I clearly remember standing at the cabin’s cliff’s edge, at one moment during this December, gazing over the steep and abrupt edge at the powerful ocean below.

.

And yet, a very strange feeling came over me.

.

It was so peaceful, except something was missing.

.

The spiritual battle and the spirits themselves seemed so far away now.

.

It was like Heaven and Hell, and the battle of Armageddon had just packed up and moved on!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Picture of Lincoln City area courtesy Wikipedia. Share-alike license. Click here for link. 

.

.

.

.

.

“HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN?”

(1971 hit song by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

.

So, have you? Have you ever seen the rain?

.

Well, if you’ve ever spent any length of time at the Oregon coast, you, no doubt, have seen LOTS AND LOTS OF RAIN!

.

But to my thinking, there’s no greater natural beauty to be found anywhere in the world!

.

The entire Oregon coast is an amazing drive!

.

As long as you don’t mind the slow-driving/much-winding/quite-narrow/constantly-repaired, Highway 101, plus lots and lots of mist, rain, and/or fog!

.

Sunny days at the Oregon coast are at a premium, to say the least!

.

Now, Lincoln City is not such a big town.

.

At least it wasn’t, back at this time (1979).

.

But it was long. It lay smack-dab on Highway 101 in Northern Oregon.

.

And Lincoln City is a conglomerate of several smaller towns, Nelscott, Taft, Delake (short for “Devil’s Lake”), Oceanlake, Cutler City, which all got swallowed up together over the years.

.

So, it is now five or more miles long! And much of it consists of sharp cliffs above the awesomely beautiful Pacific Ocean.

.

There are many rustic and weathered old cabins throughout Lincoln City.

.

And there are many old and quaint little tourist shops along Highway 101, and even some tiny salt-water taffy factories/shops along that five-mile stretch.

.

And there’s a lot of nice beaches, just right for agate-hunters, and clam-diggers, crabbers, and those who take long walks along the beach.

.

And it’s a great old fishing mecca! But I haven’t been there for some years, so it’s probably changed now (I hear there’s now a big new casino).

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Beach View of Yaquina Head Lighthouse – Fog Starting to Clear – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Sunrise along the Oregon Coast – Wikimedia – by Jim Helvey for Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

.

.

.

.

.

OREGON COAST…

.

Yeah, But in spite of the weather, I still maintain that the Oregon coast is a fantastic place to visit!

.

It’s my favorite place to be!

.

I learned to appreciate the coast as a young boy.

.

My parents or sometimes my grandparents would drive the 50 miles from our hometown of Salem, to stay in a rented cabin at Newport or Lincoln City.

.

We kids would play on the beach for hours, and jump into the surf.

.

Lincoln City Oregon – wikimedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

THE SUMMER OF ’61’

.

I still vividly recall one week-long summer vacation back in our early years, when my brother and I were down on the beach, trying to make a fort out of a few of the countless logs which had washed up on shore. 

.

Well, all was going according to plan, until one heavy log we were carrying dropped, having a large rusty nail, which went right through my brother’s foot just above his toes! Of course, he let out a loud “Owww!!!”.

.

He then yelled to me to “put it down!”

.

Unfortunately, instead of setting my end down carefully, I simply (and stupidly) just dropped it in obedience to my older brother’s command, causing the log and nail to further agonize him!

.

But, for some reason, he started to laugh.

.

And so, thinking he was okay, I began laughing along with him.

.

But then, he suddenly yelled, “WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?”

.

I realized that he was probably laughing out of shock, and sheer agony!

.

Well, after hobbling off the beach, and up several hundred VERY steep old wooden stairs he got back to our rented cabin. And after a trip to a nearby doctor’s office, a tetanus shot, and some stitches, he was well enough to resume our vacation.

.

Lincoln City – Sep 63 – the two kids far in the background not us, but this old photo shows lady in foreground wearing  typical apparel for that era – Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

.

.

.

.

.

ITSY-BITSY-TEENIE-LITTLE-BRAINS GET ADULT EDUCATION!

.

Well, my 11 year-old brother was probably not able to return back down to the sandy beach in his now-wounded condition.

.

But about that same time, the weather got bad.

.

So, we spent the last few remaining rainy days indoors at “Gakkie’s Cabin” there in Lincoln City (also high on a cliff, overlooking the ocean).

.

Actually, this rustic old cabin belonged to Dr. Gatky (Gakkie was how I mispronounced his name when I was 4 or 5).

.

Yes, Doctor Gatky lived across from my grandma on 23rd Street, just one of Salem’s many beautiful old tree-lined and flowered streets.

.

He rented that cabin to our family for the “exorbitant” sum of about $5 per day (And that was cheap even for the early 1960’s!)

.

But in spite of the pouring rain outside the large ocean-view windows, we young kids (and everybody else too) had lots of fun playing games, peeling off our sunburn blisters, and listening to the thin-sounding music on a small radio (little or no TV reception back in those days, in Lincoln City. But they did have a radio station there).

.

One other unforgettable aspect to this vacation was when that almost toneless old radio began playing two songs for the very first time, which were big new “hit songs”.

.

One hit tune was called, “She Wore an Itsy-Bitsy-Teenie-Weenie-Yellow-Polka-Dot-Bikini”. 

.

Yes, bikinis had become the newest rage across America at that time by young girls who hadn’t yet lost their teenage figures.

.

And that song glorified the new craze.

.

And if that new “Itsy-Bitsy-Teenie-Bikini” song wasn’t enough to send a youngster’s mind for a spin around the block, the next hit tune was sure to catapult a kid’s brain clear up to the Moon!

.

This second little number was titled, “Never on A Sunday, Cause That’s My Day of Rest!”

.

And although fresh out of the 4th grade, the not-so-quaint gist of that little ditty didn’t escape my tiny 9-year-old mind!

.

Well, those two songs got a lot of airplay that week, often mixed in between the other, mostly relatively benign, tunes.

.

We heard them over and over again…until their dicey lyrics no longer caused us to go “saucer-eyed”. 

.

Nevertheless, these naughty-but-nice little songs must have made a deep impression on me, cause I still vividly recall hearing them!

(Now I’m fully aware that, in 2020, those two songs, with their light-hearted melody/lyrics might even be considered kid-friendly, compared to much of today’s sexual/violent/scuzzy/graphic music and videos. But even though the “Sexual Revolution” was already well underway back in 1961 U.S.A., these two world-wide mega-hits were just another “bold new step forward” in the further sexualization of America and of the world!)

.

But in spite of these few glitches, our summer vacation was otherwise filled with lots of innocent fun (as I’ve already stated), laughing, snacking, playing games, etc., during those rainy days at Gakkie’s Cabin. 

.

Polka dots.svg – Wikimedia – Public Domain

Salem Oregon Path by the River – wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

Front view of an Arvin radio, – 1940s. – wikimedia – No known copyright restrictions

prostitute taking her shift – Wikimedia – Public Domain in country of origin

.

.

.

.

.

THE SUMMER OF “56 (or 58)”, IN “GAKKIE’S” GARDEN

.

Now Doctor Gakkie was kind enough to allow us (about 9 guests or more, including relatives) to rent his old beach cabin (and it still stands there today). 

.

But truth-be-told, I was kinda scared of the old gent, ever since the day (back in ’56’, or so) when he chased us kids out of his prize-winning, half-acre flower/rose/shrub garden (at least it seemed to us like a half-acre or more).

.

Man, that vast garden had so many flowers, shrubs, etc., it was like walking through the winding pathways of a thick jungle!

.

And we, most likely, were sizing it up as a potential new battlefield, for the next time all us kids would play, “Army”!

.

And so, our curiosity got the best of us, and we couldn’t resist the temptation to check it out.

.

But no sooner did we make our way through the first leg of our search/quest, we heard a loud and very angry voice, “You kids stay out of my garden!”

(Well, my brother’s recollection was that I had plucked one of Gakkie’s prize roses which provoked the old gent’s angst. Imagine that! How intolerant! LOL!)

.

And so we hightailed it back to the safety of Grandma’s big old front porch

(Grandma pictured here, and my Grandma’s incredible flowered/shrubbed yard was perhaps the neighborhood’s showcase as well, back in those days. Not-so-much these days…new owner)!

.

And that was the first and the last time we would ever explore that “mysterious jungle” of Doctor Gakkie’s garden!

.

‘Ready to Engage the Enemy’ – wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license

.

.

.

.

.

“NO, NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR!”

.

Now just whatever kind of doctor Gakkie actually was, to this day, I’ve never found out.

.

But I do remember when very young, I saw two ladies walking down the old Salem sidewalk in the direction of his house, and one of them was laughing hysterically.

.

And so I turned to my grandma and asked, “Grandma, is that lady going to see Doctor Gakkie?”

.

Well, my grandma laughed and laughed, and said, “No, Chuckie”, still laughing.

.

And so I instantly deduced that he was not, “that kind of doctor”.

.

But to tell you the truth, in all those years of countless visits to Grandma’s house, I don’t think I ever actually saw the old man!

.

Just heard his angry voice that one time.

.

Oh well. (And for all I know, under different circumstances, he might have been a really nice old guy! And really! Who would want a bunch of irresponsible little neighborhood rapscallions-on-the-loose, traipsing through your prize-winning flower garden, not to mention that I might have plucked one of his prize roses, as my brother insists!?)

.

And if time permitted, I’d tell about the day when our neighborhood Army-Club members decided to embark on a search-and-rescue operation (a fruit/vegetable scavenger-hunt in another neighbor’s vegetable/fruit garden!)

.

Taiwan 2009 Tainan City Organic Farm Watermelon FRD – wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

.

.

.

.

.

YES, “THAT KIND OF DOCTOR!”

.

But it was now the Christmas of 1979, and those old days in the 50’s were just a few, distant and faded old memories.

.

But now, BUT NOW…I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED, “THAT KIND OF DOCTOR”!

.

And yet, I can fully assure you, that I was not laughing hysterically at this moment, like that lady was laughing her way down the sidewalk, some 25+ years earlier!

.

No, I wasn’t laughing at all, right now!

.

.

.

.

.

BACK TO MY OLD SELF…ALMOST

.

But in spite of my somber demeanor, all that remained in the former spiritual battlefield of my mind, was peaceful silence!

.

Yeah, this battlefield now lay desolate, except for the dead bodies strewn from one end to the other (the dead bodies of all my former atheistic ideas and philosophies, and other misguided notions about life, which I had accumulated over the years!)

.

And now, before me was just the timeless and soothing roaring of the waves, and the sound of the gulls as they swept back and forth above the shoreline.

.

But even though, to a certain degree, I felt like my old self again, yet I didn’t feel quite right for some reason.

.

Something was missing!

.

Northern Oregon Coast wikimedia Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license

Sea Gypsies, Lincoln City, Oregon – cropped image –  wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

.

.

.

.

.

THE GULL

.

.

.

Another foggy day in Oregon.

.

The rain had stopped—for a while.

.

But the air was heavy with the cold, wet mist.

.

The gulls were now making their endless sweeps back-and-forth along the shore-line.

.

The tide had receded, leaving a table of food for the ever-hungry, never-satisfied scavengers.

.

Down below, a solitary form lay atop a mound of a rock, close to the incoming surf.

.

A few of the gulls, seeing, swept down for a closer inspection of the wounded bird.

.

They couldn’t understand why their fellow gull just sat down there instead of flying with them like usual.

.

The gull lifted up his head as if to remember his former friends/rivals, who were still winging back-and-forth, making their daily coastline inspection. 

.

But just then, another great wave swept over the wounded bird, causing the bird to hurt once again with its open wounds.

.

Besides being caught in a large piece of fish net, the bird had a fish-hook caught in his flesh.

.

The pain made each moment seem like an hour! (“…in an evil net, as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.” Ecclesiastes 9:12)  

.

The bird vainly struggled to get itself free.

.

But he was totally helpless!

.

And now the tide was once again coming back in, sweeping over the bird.

.

Wave after wave swept over the bird. (“Thy {God’s} wrath lies hard upon me, and Thou {God} hast afflicted me with all Thy waves. Selah.” Psalm 88:7) 

.

Finally came the night. The Moon, fully illuminated, stood watch high above the dark blueness of the sea.

.

The exhausted bird just lay there throughout the long night.

.

And before the morning, even the Moon turned away his face from the gull; turning toward the East, as if eagerly awaiting the arrival of the morning Sun, as He (the Moon) resumed His appointed place once again.

.

But in the early morning hours, just as the Sun shone His bright rays through the heavy mist, a dark silhouette blocked the Sun’s rays, casting his great shadow over the wounded gull.

.

The bird was tired. Too tired to struggle. Too weak to flee from this dark enemy!

.

And as he lay there, knowing he had arrived at the end, a large, wrinkled hand reached down and lifted up the bird.

.

But before the gull knew what happened, the Fisherman was out of sight.

.

The gull was surprised that this strange form was now gone, but hadn’t killed the gull!

.

No, the bird realized he was free at last from both the hook, as well as from the net.

.

Hobbling over the rocks until he finally came to one great rock by a large drift log.

“A quiet place to sit. To heal. To think”, the bird decided.

.

To rest until he was healed enough to fly once again.

.

The cool breezes seemed to sooth and restore this bird. The old fisherman had mercifully given it a second chance.

.

The gull would soon again be flying, once again making his endless sweeps back-and-forth along the sand of the sea.

.

Seeking.

.

USA Oregon Newport Yaquina Head Light Seagull – cropped image – wikipedia GNU Free Documentation License

wikimedia:Moon Over Mombasa.

Kelp Gull South Africa – wikipedia – Share-Alike-3.0.jpg

.

.

.

.

.

CONCLUSION…

.

Reflecting back on those “mental ward games”, as I earlier said, they seemed to be a weird sort of analogy to the Gospel story of Lucifer’s rebellion and Christ’s redemption of the world, represented by the Ayatollah and the Shah.

.

.

Fortunately, the fate of the world didn’t actually rest on my shoulders, as I was led to believe by the spirits.

.

And thankfully, Christ, the Son of God has already won back the world by His own sinless life here on Earth, and by His own sacrificial/redemptive death on the Cross.

.

The problem is, I just didn’t know any of this at that time!

.

So I was a real “push-over”, an “easy mark” for the spirits, who had, no doubt, gleefully orchestrated that whole business back in Unit 3600!  

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Public beach entrance at Lincoln City, next to chowder house. Photo courtesy Wikipedia. Share-alike license. Click here for link. 

.

.

.

.

.

“HMM…KIND OF INTERESTING”…

.

And just a side-note. I was much later surprised that some months later, while listening to the news, to hear that the American hostages were finally released from Iranian captivity on the 444 day of their captivity.

.

A spirit reminded me that 444 is two-thirds of 666.

.

Maybe that’s just a coincidence.

.

But it’s an interesting coincidence.

.

No big deal, I guess.

.

Iran hostages – wikipedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

“HMM…VERY, VERY, INTERESTING”…

.

And as long as we’re talking about interesting coincidences, here’s another one for ya!

.

Remember how I told you that our restaurant had the address, 3600, South 6th?

.

And of course, if you’ve followed along with this story, you know that the mental ward I was in, was Unit 3600.

.

And remember how shocked I was that our restaurant address and the mental ward I was tormented in, both had the same number, 3600?

.

Now do you also recall that I mentioned that it seemed as if I was much like that rich man in that parable of the Rich Man & Lazarus, who was tormented in Hell (painting to left)?

.

And I was being tormented by fire and brimstone (“spiritual fire & brimstone”, not literal)?

.

Well, the other day (Fall, 2013), I was doing a word search in my “Strong’s Concordance”.

.

And I just so-happened to look into the Greek for the word, “Torment”.

.

And I discovered that there are several Greek words for “Torment”. 

.

But to my amazement, it just so happens that the very Bible passage this particular Greek word #3600 (in Strong’s Concordance) is used in, is none other than that very parable of the Rich Man & Lazarus!

.

Listen…

…”And he cried and said, Father Abraham,

have mercy on me, and send Lazarus,

that he may dip the tip of his finger in water,

and cool my tongue;

for I am tormented (Greek word #3600) in this flame. 

But Abraham said, Son, remember that you,

in your lifetime received your good things,

and likewise Lazarus evil things:

but now he is comforted,

and you are tormented (Greek word #3600).”

Luke 16:24, 25.

.

Coincidence? Not a coincidence? Well, whichever way you decide, I certainly won’t argue with you!

.

But you have to admit, it is a very, very, interesting co-incident, if that’s all it is!

.

Brooklyn Museum – The Rich Man in Hell – James Tissot – wikimedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

COINCIDENCE? MENTAL ILLNESS? SATAN?

.

But please indulge me in one last, yet extremely interesting “coincidence”, in my hospital stay!

.

Remember how the sun shining on the window mesh-screen in the high-security lock-down room flashed an incredible cross-like light-beam, as I was praying?

.

Well just look at this 300-plus-year-old graphic plate showing almost the exact same “coincidence” occurring to an “insane” individual praying back in those times, and thinking the sun shining on his cross was a sign from Heaven!

.

Coincidence?

.

Insanity?

.

Same old Devilish Deceiver today as in olden times?

.

You be the judge!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To go to the next chapter, just click here…

.

Ch. 18: “On Such A Winter’s Day”…

.

The spirit returns. Big-time!

.

.

 

.

.

.

.

“HERE’S A LITTLE RIDDLE!

.

Here’s a little riddle I heard years ago, when just a boy.

.

It goes something like this…“Pretend that you’re locked inside of a prison cell.

This prison cell is made out of very thick and solid iron.

And this iron prison cell has not one window, nor even a door!

The warden of the prison can’t hear you, and frankly, doesn’t even want to hear you!

He actually wants you to remain there forever!”

.

Now the question is this: “How do you get out?” (Remember, there’s no windows or doors.)

.

And no, it’s not the answer that I heard to this riddle as a boy, “You run around in circles till you wear yourself out!”

.

No, this is a serious question.

.

Because there are many people who are actually in such an iron prison-cell, of one kind or another.

.

And they feel as if their situation is hopeless.

.

Well, if you read this article, you will find the answer to this riddle.

.

Because on this fateful morning I was in such a prison cell.

.

And to top it off, I was looking to do hard time in the Devil’s Prison…Hell!!!!!!

.

And there was gonna be NO parole for good behavior in the Devil’s prison!

.

The Judge had handed down my jail sentence of life+eternity…in hell-fire…in eternal torment…for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

.

And the jailer of that prison-house couldn’t care less about my happiness!

.

His only desire was to make me to suffer as intensely as he possibly could!

.

Question Mark – at a loss – Wikimedia – Share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

CHAPTER 16:

.

“…AND THEN IT STILL AIN’T OVER!”

.

.

.

.

.

THE NEXT MORNING…COMPLETE DEFEAT…

.

In the morning, I lay in the ash-heap of defeat!

.

My life as empty as my lock-down room!

.

I miserably lost this chess-game with the Devil!

.

A complete failure!

.

Humanity was doomed!

.

All was hopeless on this cold, cold day in December!

.

The representatives (the few still remaining) were getting ready for discharge, it seemed.

.

The “Shah” was probably in the Intensive Care Unit by now (or so I thought).

.

But the Ayatollah was still on TV, looking as strong and defiant as ever!

.

The 52 hostages were still being held captive.

.

All four of my suicide attempts were miserable failures (2 swan-dives to the hard floor, 1 scissors to the brain, & 1 self-drowning in the toilet which the spirit promised to keep my head under water till I was dead).

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

HEAVEN AS BRASS

.

And as for God, well, He was nowhere to be found!

.

He was far, far, away!

.

And Heaven had brass doors!

.

Nothing could penetrate those thick gates of hard cold brass! Nothing!

.

Certainly not my prayers! Maybe someone else’s prayers. But not mine!

.

At least, that’s how it seemed at the moment.

.

It was like this following Bible passage…

…“The LORD shall send upon thee cursing, vexation, and rebuke…

And thy Heaven that is over thy head shall be brass,

and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.”

Leviticus 28:20, 23

.

Yes, the earth under me was like iron, and the Heaven above was as brass over me!

.

Hell was my destination! Death was the vehicle that would take me there!

.

The Angel of Mercy had taken flight!

.

And the angels of Hell were ready to usher me out of this world, down, down, down, to my final reward!

.

Words cannot describe the abject terror and utter hopelessness which were crushing me at this moment!

.

Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

.

.

.

.

.

EVEN AN ATHEIST HAS UNBELIEF TO COMFORT HIM (OR HER)!

.

At least an atheist has his disbelief of the Bible and his self-deception (plus a bottle or bag of forgetfulness) to keep his sanity in tact for one more day!

.

An eternity of nothingness would be a blessing compared to an eternity of fiery punishment under the ruler of Hell, “The Angel of the Bottomless Pit!” (Revelation 9:11)

.

Of course, atheists will one Day discover our atheism was only just a lie, perpetuated by the Father of Lies, i.e., the Devil (Satan)!

.

But for the time-being, he (an atheist) can merely eat, drink, drop, or smoke himself into a fog, to try to forget about his (or her) inevitable date with that infamous one, The Grim Reaper, also called, “Death”!

.

But now, but now…this ex-atheist was destined to dance with The Devil!

.

Or maybe I should rather say, the Devil was destined to dance on top of me! Like this picture to the right!

.

I was truly locked in an iron room with no doors or windows! There was no way out!

.

An eternity of hell-fire was my punishment; and all Hell’s guests eagerly awaited my arrival!

.

This was their only joy: to welcome one more miserably wretched sinner, to share in their eternal agony and suffering!

.

Hell’s Torment and Tormentor – Wikipedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

“I’M SO LONESOME, I COULD CRY”

.

…NO…

.

I’M SO TERRIFIED THAT I WILL FRY!

.

Yeah, ol’ Hank was right, of course! That “midnight train”, indeed, was “whining low!”

.

But I wasn’t “so lonesome I could cry!”

.

No! At this very fateful moment, I was so terrified that I could break into little pieces like an icicle hitting the hard floor!

.

But as I said, that midnight train was pulling into the station.

.

And there was one empty seat ready to be filled…with my name on it!

.

The conductor driving this train was that infamous Grim Reaper!

.

And his fiery, lazar-like eyes were, no doubt, darting straight in my direction!

.

Piercing though the Stygian blackness of my hopeless fate!

.

And he was, no doubt, grinning from ear-to-ear, at the prospects of snatching away another miserably lost soul…casting it mercilessly down, down, down; down deep into that fiery Inferno somewhere in the Land of Forgetfulness, that bottomless hole of no hope.

.

The Place of No Return! HELL!!!

.

Listen to this horrible sentence upon unbelievers…

“The same (those with the Beast’s mark)

shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God,

which is poured out without mixture

into the cup of his indignation;

and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone

in the presence of the holy angels,

and in the presence of the Lamb:

And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever:

and they have no rest day nor night,

who worship the beast and his image,

and whosoever receiveth the mark of his (the Devil’s) name.”

Revelation 14:10, 11. (parenthetical comment by this Editor)

.

Yes, as this passage plainly reveals, there’s no let-up for those who served the “god of this world”, in this life!

.

Yes, I had served the gods of selfishness!

.

And now the smoke of my torment would rise up for ever and ever!

.

And Jesus and His holy angels would stand there and watch me with approval, and countless others too, those who are all suffering in flames of fire forever-and-a-day!

.

And the Angel of Mercy had taken flight and was gone forevermore!

.

And the Angel of Death now stood with his Death Sword raised up over me!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Train at Station – Hans Schnellzug – 1909 – wikimedia-public – domain

.

.

.

.

.

RAY OF HOPE IN THE DARKNESS…

.

As I sat there in an icy and frozen state of shock and horror, the thought came to me that, “Maybe I should pray for a second chance.”

.

Pray for another chance!!!????

.

HOW RIDICULOUSLY ABSURD!!!

.

Well, on second thought…..what harm could there be in trying?

.

It’s a one-in-a-million shot!

.

So I got up, and went into my room.

.

I got down on my knees on that hard, cold, mental-ward floor, where just a day earlier, I tried to crush out my life. (Unbeknownst to me, the morning Sun was just now rising slowly and steadily).

.

And there on that cold and unforgiving floor, I knelt.

.

I had lost all earthly hope! (Slowly and steadily and faithfully, the bright morning Sun was now arising.)

.

I didn’t know who God is. (The Sun still rising up, closer and closer, almost coming up over the hospital buildings).

.

But prayer was all I had left!

.

And I began to pray… “Oh God! Give me another chance! Have mercy on me, oh God…”

.

(The Sun now rising up above the hospital buildings. Finally a beam of light flashed into this pale hospital-drab lock-down cell. And as it did, this ray of hope hit the metal mesh security screen on my window like a lightning bolt!)

.

And like a Lazer beam, there instantly flashed the most beautiful cross on the window screen! Like a heavenly messenger of light!

.

I got up off my knees. I looked up. And I saw the light!

.

It flashed like the glittering sword of that returning Angel of Mercy!

.

It was as big as the window, maybe two feet wide by four feet high.

.

But it was big enough to get the message across to me!

.

.

.

.

.

SIGNS OF HEAVEN?…

.

As I looked at this ray of hope; this symbol of mercy and love, I began to wonder if this was a sign from Heaven. “Could this be the answer I was looking for?” (similar to this photo)

.

I walked cautiously to the small window of my door, and nervously peered out at the nurse’s station.

.

I saw there what I assumed were the remaining representatives bustling back to their rooms!

.

The entire ward seemed astir!

.

Could they be getting ready for a second contest out there?

.

Could it be?

.

Could it actually be, that God had heard my prayer?

.

Photo of star-crosses of nebula IRAS 05437+2502 in the Taurus Constellation – courtesy NASA & Wikipedia. Public Domain

.

.

.

.

.

THE SPIRIT RETURNS…

.

I began to feel a resurgence of the spirit! Hope swept over my soul, just as surely as that morning sunlight swept down over those Canyon walls: those Grand Canyon walls which I saw that last summer!

.

I went out of my room, cautiously making my way through the morning hustle-bustle of nurses and patients!

.

I knew what I must do, with this one chance given me!

.

Yeah! I picked up a cue stick and began to shoot pool!

.

The spirit was once again in control. The pool-balls went into the pockets with razor-like precision (or so it seemed)!

.

Yeah! This was more than enough to let me know that the merciful God of Heaven was not through with me yet!

.

I practiced. I moved in harmony with the spirit.

.

Like a sword-wielding soldier, I whet my glittering spear (my cue-stick) till it was razor sharp (chalked up).

.

I was wearing the Armor of God.

.

I now had the full-body suit of the Armor of the Spirit.

.

My mind fortified with God’s precious promises.

.

And a force-field of grace was now blazing around me!

.

I was girded with the belt of God’s Truth!

.

I had on the Helmet of Salvation!

.

I had the Shield of Faith in my left hand!

.

The Sword of the Spirit in my right hand.

.

And the Breastplate of Righteousness!

.

.

.

.

.

“Put on the whole armor of God,

that ye may be able to stand

against the wiles of the Devil. ”

Ephesians 6:11

.

.

.

.

.

.

INSIDERS NOW CLEARLY RECOGNIZED…

.

A nurse came around and showed me her Santa Clause pin which she wore.

.

She then pointed to other staff members in the ward who were also wearing similar kinds of Christmas pins.

.

I took this to indicate that these were the “insiders” on my behalf!

.

And this nurse was just tipping me off, as to just who was on my side…or should I say…just “who is on the Lord’s side”.

.

But what would my tests be? What battle must I fight? And how would the enemy come against me?

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

LADY-LIBERTY ARRIVES…

.

But wait a minute! What would I do? Most of the “chessmen” had been discharged!

.

Well, that was not really going to be a problem. Replacements were on their way!

.

LADY-LIBERTY… There was a very pretty young lady just admitted to the ward.

.

I heard that she was a hospital nurse who was having some sort of mental issues.

.

However, the spirits informed me that she was a replacement representative, to replace those who had been discharged.

.

She symbolized “America”…a type of “Lady Liberty”.

.

.

.

.

.

“BLUER THAN BLUE” WAS LADY BLUE

(“Bluer Than Blue” is the title of a 1978 song recorded by Michael Johnson. Wikipedia)

.

At some point in time, I sat down at a table.

.

The noise of the hustle-bustle died down in the ward.

.

And there I sat, not sure about all that was just now happening.

.

The excitement was soon replaced by calm.

.

Eventually it all became quiet.

.

The noisy chatter gave way, once again, to the ever-present low hum of the heating/air conditioning system overhead.

.

It seemed like I was all alone.

.

I might have even begun to doze off at this large round table. (I’m a little fuzzy about the details of this description.)

.

All of a sudden, I heard someone screaming for help.

.

The cry came from one of the patient-sleeping-rooms.

.

It was the room of “Lady-Blue” (the really disturbed girl that represented the mental ward patients, whom I mistakenly thought had died some days earlier, seeing a ghostly skull through the window of her door).

.

I ran into the room.

.

I was horrified to see her lifeless body hanging from a long thin, soft rubber tubing, that was somehow attached to the ceiling, or fire-sprinkler-head!

.

Her round, contorted face was blue, from suffocation!

.

She was just hanging there lifelessly!

.

So, I ran in and grabbed her body and lifted her up, while the nurse who screamed, tried to untie this rubber hose.

.

After a moment she was untied.

.

They laid her on her bed. By now, other techs were there. An effort was no doubt made to bring oxygen back into her lifeless body!

.

She began to revive! Hallelujah!

.

As far as I remember (And my memory is vague) was this my first RE-test?

.

Had I passed? The girl who represented the mental ward was saved! Hallelujah!

.

(Note: I’m not sure exactly when this incident precisely happened. I’m just fitting it in at this point. I really can’t even remember whether this was actually a test. But it fits well, so I’m gonna go with it, even though I’m not sure! But as far as what happened to this young girl, it was just this way I’ve recounted it.)

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

ANOTHER TEST: “SHOWING MY FAITH”…

.

“FAITH IS THE SUBSTANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN”. (HA HA HA, VERY FUNNY, SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH!!!)

.

That night I was back in the lock-down room.

.

But I was no longer in the leather restraint-straps attached to my bed.

.

And the spirit began to urge me to go out into the main lobby. “Okay. Not a problem”, I thought to myself. Go out into the lobby! Okay!

.

But the spirit began another test.

.

He urged me…no he compelled me, to go out there naked!

.

Now that WAS a problem! “Show your faith, Chuck”, said the spirit. (I can’t remember if he spoke audibly in my mind, or just put thoughts in my mind.)

.

So, the spirit was urging me to “show your faith” by walking out into the main lobby naked.

.

To “show my faith”. I really, really, really, really didn’t want to do this!

.

And really, there was nothing about my naked body worthy of such a public exhibition!

.

But…if this would help me win the contest, well…I was willing to do just about anything not to “blow it” again…

.

Listen to this passage about Jesus being tempted to do something ridiculous…

“Then the devil took Him (Jesus) up into the holy city,

and set Him on a pinnacle of the temple,

And says unto Him, If you be the Son of God,

cast yourself down…

Jesus said unto him, It is written again,

You shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”

Matthew 4:5-7

.

Oh, that I had known this verse!

.

It could have saved me, not only from this, but other stupid things in the future!

.

Yes, in this passage, Satan tempted Jesus to do a really stupid and presumptuous thing.

.

But Jesus knew it was not true faith, to do something like this.

.

And neither was this the way that my faith should be tested! That’s for sure!

.

But sadly, I didn’t know about this verse. Nor did I know anything about this concept.

.

Because I never bothered to read the Bible.

.

As I remember, the spirit indicated that he would help me do this, since I didn’t have the nerve to do it myself.

.

And so, I felt the spirit take control of my entire body.

.

And after a moment, he slowly walked me out into the main lobby.

.

I kind-of involuntarily walked like a zombie, because the spirit was causing me to do this.

.

He was now in control over me.

.

And just as I did, the pretty lady who represented America walked out at the same moment.

.

I don’t know who was more embarrassed, her or me.

.

She quickly turned away, and scurried away to her room.

.

I came back to my room.

.

But after I did, the spirit urged me to go out once again. “Oh boy!”

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

James Tissot Brooklyn Museum Jesus Carried up to the Pinnacle wikimedia US public domain

.

.

.

.

.

NAKED BEFORE AMERICA…

.

Now normally, I wasn’t an ostentatious-type of person.

.

No, I wasn’t into, say, wearing loud-colored clothing, nor anything to stand out in a crowd.

.

And so, to bear my nakedness in front of “Lady-Liberty” was a totally repugnant idea!

.

(And while on this subject, I must say, that disclosing all my weak traits and private sins on the Internet is likewise repugnant! I’m embarrassed about my past in many ways. But truth is truth! And frankly, right now I’m being guided by a spirit to write down all these events. So it’s not like I really have a choice in the matter!)

.

Another nurse quickly came over and led me back into my room.

.

Back inside my room, she hugged me in attempt to prevent me from going back out there.

.

But the spirit was turning me back out again. “Show your faith Chuck!”, the spirit kept urging.

.

The nurse said (with a chuckle) “you really have no reason to be doing this. No reason at all!”

.

So when she saw I was determined to return back out there, she called for help.

.

Shortly, help arrived, and I was once again put into restraints.

.

This time naked!

.

So, there I lay!

.

Tied to my bed with thick leather belts! Naked! All night long!

.

And this time, they had a 24-hour shift of guards watching over me.

.

I think at one point they put a bed sheet over me.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Statue of Liberty – wikipedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

THE NEXT MORNING…

.

The next morning, I was still there!

.

The spirit was not happy with just one showing.

.

So, he urged me to throw off the one sheet covering me.

.

And so, with doctors and nurses coming in and out of my room, I lay there naked to the world.

.

Showing some more faith, I suppose.

.

People were coming in and out all day.

.

Small conferences were being held there in my room.

.

This, my lock-down room seemed like “it became as busy as a miniature Grand Central Station”, as the saying goes!!

.

I can’t really remember why, but the spirit didn’t allow me to move or talk.

.

After some time in this silent state, I overheard the doctors say that I was in a “catatonic” state. But I knew it was the spirit making me still and speechless.

.

I have since read in Scripture of people who couldn’t talk as having a dumb spirit.

.

There’s even the Bible account about the father of John the Baptist losing the ability to talk, by God’s power, until John was born. (see Luke 1:20)

.

But at this point, I felt that this was just another test. And I wasn’t going to lose the contest over this test.

.

So, I just lay there, not deaf—but dumb.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

DIAPERED…YES…BUT FULLY EMPOWDERED WITH FAITH!

.

Hours later, at some point in time, someone came into the room and put adult diapers on me.

.

At this point, the room cleared out. And so, I just laid there, probably wondering what else was on the spirit’s agenda for me, for that day.

.

After laying there a good share of the morning (in my diapers), the thought came to me to simply climb out of this situation.

.

That would likewise require faith! The spirit once again urged me to “show my faith!”.

.

So, I decided to go for it. And I just climbed out—by faith! And I began to climb over the side-rails.

.

But as I was climbing out of this high-rail, crib-like security bed, wearing only my diapers (and happy with my new-found, “great faith”)…

.

…I realized that I must have looked ridiculously like an overgrown baby, climbing out of its crib (wearing nothing but diapers!). “Some faith!”, I thought, “a big baby climbing out of my crib!”

.

Nevertheless, I was glad to be out of that situation! And then, after climbing out, I got my clothes on, and walked out into the main area.

.

I guess I passed another test! Another test of “faith”, I guess!

.

Hallelujah once again!!

.

Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘Scream’

.

.

.

.

.

“AS THOU HAST DONE…SO SHALL IT BE DONE UNTO THEE!”

.

As I later analyzed this and the many other embarrassing and/or unnerving things that happened to me up there in Unit 3600, I concluded that this might just be divine pay-back for some of the heartless things I did in my past.

.

For instance, as I’ve already repeatedly confessed, I still remember tauntingly imitating the way a crippled girl walked, back in high school.

.

I can’t believe I did that! But I did.

.

And also, about a week before all this Hell had begun, I did the exact same thing to a man down at the club.

.

I walked behind him and imitated the “funny” way he walked, just to make some ladies laugh.

.

Well, in the fourteen years that had passed between these two incidents, I still hadn’t learned my lesson! I was as big a fool at age 29, as I was back in high school!

.

But now, a few months after the last incident of mocking someone, I was now cured.

.

Now I knew that there was divine pay-back!

.

Listen…“Give, and it shall be given unto you;

good measure, pressed down,

and shaken together, and running over,

shall men give into your bosom.

For with the same measure that ye mete withal

it shall be measured to you again.”

Luke 6:38.

.

.

.

Yeah, this above passage has positive implications, as well as negative implications: the good we do…or the evil we do, will eventually be given back to us in our lap…abundantly!

.

I lived as a fool, and now I was receiving a fool’s reward!

.

I was reaping what I had sown! I was getting “paid back in spades”, as they say!

.

It was now my Judgment Day! I was acting like a complete idiot!

.

I was being “tormented by fire and brimstone…of the wrath of God”!

.

And there wasn’t a single thing I could do about all this! The spirits were too powerful for me to resist!

.

Listen again… “…behold, therefore I (the Lord) also will recompense your way upon your head…” Ezekiel 16:43.

.

And now, my Day of Recompense had fully come! And my past deeds were now being returned back upon my head!

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

.

.

.

.

.

APPLEWHITE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING…

.

Later on, as I was sitting at the round table, close to the nurse station.

.

And as I sat there, Mr. Applewhite came walking by, being escorted by two men: one man on each side of him.

.

He looked like a man being escorted to his execution! But Applewhite seemed as jovial as ever, with his wide-eyed expression, and big grin.

.

But just as they were escorting him toward the exit, he beamed back at me, saying something like, “They’re taking me to Salem! See ya!”.

.

This bizarre scene was really disturbing to me!

.

It was like some sick, twisted scene from a horror movie!

.

It seemed that the spirits were using Mr. Applewhite to taunt me, making me fearful that going to Salem was in my near future too! Oh man!

.

I didn’t want to suffer the same fate as Applewhite! I didn’t want to go to Salem!

.

But (if memory serves correctly), just before he rounded the corner out of my sight, he turned back and exclaimed gleefully, with a bright smile, “See ya in Salem!” This comment was like a sharp arrow into my side. The thought of going to the State Mental Hospital in Salem, and Salem being my hometown (I was born and raised and schooled in Salem) was more than I could bear.

.

Could this be an omen of the future?

.

More than you know. More than you know.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Marshall Applewhite – Wikipedia – Fair Use Rationale. Click here for Fair-Use Rationale Guidelines – Image germane to this story – Could not find suitable free replacement on Internet – reduced size & quality.

.

.

.

.

.

“KNOCK…TWICE ON THE PIPES…

.

…IF THE ANSWER IS “NO”…

(Lyrics from the 1971 hit song, “Knock Three Times”, by Tony Orlando & Dawn)

.

The doctors in Unit 3600 were now urging me to begin taking medication.

.

Up till now I had refused drugs.

.

For one thing, I knew that I couldn’t be cured with pills. After all, how could you possibly cure spirit beings with pills!?!

.

The doctor (who looked somewhat like Satan or perhaps, Satan’s “Mini-Me” representative) was telling me that Lithium was just something that came out of the ground.

.

“Harmless! A natural substance!”, he said, “Tony Orlando takes Lithium”, he continued, “And he’s doing just fine!”

.

This comment triggered my memory. Because I had just seen Tony Orlando perform that last summer in either Las Vegas or Tahoe.

.

Tahoe, I think.

.

He gave an absolutely incredible performance!

.

At one point in the show, he grabbed a rope, let down from the ceiling, and swung out into the audience, landing on the booths above where we were sitting.

.

Then he danced and sang, skipping from booth-top to booth-top. (And I remember well, when he danced on top of the booth where I was sitting, he made like his eyes were popping out at my very beautiful girlfriend, and pointed his finger at her. I didn’t know whether to be proud or jealous. I guess I was both. Anyway, my lady-friend didn’t mind. And after all, she really looked stunning that night!)

.

But Orlando’s performance was so energetic that, after being informed by “Doctor Satan’s Mini-Me”, that Orlando was on Lithium, I wondered if it was that Lithium which made him so hyper-active.

.

As a matter of fact, as we were leaving, one of the waiters commented that, “This was Orlando’s best performance by far!”

.

But very hyper! And I wasn’t sure if I would like to be dancing on top of tables, if I too, took that Lithium stuff!

.

Naw! Dancing on table-tops was not something I wanted to do! Nope!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Photo of Tony Orlando courtesy Alan Light & Wikipedia share-alike license. Click here for link.

.

.

.

.

.

JUST SAY “NO” TO DRUGS…

.

But my not taking the drugs became one of my “tests of faith”.

.

And yet, the hospital wasn’t going to let this matter drop.

.

I pointed them to a poster on the wall saying I had legal rights to refuse anything which went against my religious beliefs.

.

So they had to get a court to order me to be given those drugs.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

JUST SAY “YES”…

.

The day finally came when the hospital got the go-ahead to give me drugs.

.

So, they decided to shoot me up with a drug that would last for up to five weeks.

.

I think it was called Prolixin. I didn’t put up a fight.

.

So, in a while, the drug took its effect.

.

But there was a side-effect to this drug that was intolerable!

.

It made me uncomfortable, wherever I was.

.

If I was sitting, I had to stand.

.

If I was standing, I had to sit. Or walk! Or lay down!

.

It was like having Restless-Leg-Syndrome…but throughout every square-inch of my body! Not good! Not good at all!

.

But there was a sidekick drug that counteracted this negative side-effect of Prolixin.

.

And, after some hours of this torment, they finally got an order for this side-kick drug.

.

I took it gladly! And after another hour, that horrible Restless-BODY-Syndrome went away.

.

Fluphenazine3Dan prolixon Wikimedia share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

The remainder of this hospital visit was fairly tame. I had visitors. It was painful for me to have them see me like this. But I was still glad they came.

.

.

.

.

.

GAME OVER!

.

Well, these three “tests” (saving Lady-Blue & exposing myself before “Miss America” ) were the three “tests of faith” that I can remember.

.

Oh yeah, and climbing out of my lockdown crib, by…uh….”faith”.

.

And these few other “tests” that I’ve mentioned.

.

And so ended the Chess-Game from Hell!

.

I don’t suppose it amounted to anything anyway.

.

But I would say that I learned that to be “tormented with fire” doesn’t necessarily mean literal fire.

.

“…and he shall be tormented

with fire and brimstone

in the presence of the holy angels,

and in the presence of the Lamb:

And the smoke of their torment

ascends up for ever and ever.”

Revelation 14:10, 11

.

And the smoke of my torment ascends upward to the throne of God.

.

Because, though it was severe punishment, it nevertheless changed me for the better, in the end.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

CONCLUSION…

.

I would like to say that I never ever made an unkind remark or joke about another person ever again.

.

But I would be lying if I said that.

.

Yet this experience and other similar experiences made a dramatic change in my life.

.

And whenever I did slip with my tongue after this experience, I became very afraid.

.

Very afraid indeed! Cause now I know how serious such a thing is, before a holy and righteous and sin-hating God!

.

And this is how I began the upward journey to find the Lord.

.

But would I ever find Him?

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

.

ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE

.

Oh yeah! I forgot all about the riddle! Sorry!

.

So how do you get out of a totally impossible situation, which seemingly has no possible earthly way of escape?

.

How do you escape from that iron cage with no doors or windows, and no possible way out?

.

No, you don’t run around in circles till you wear yourself out…

.

No, rather, “You pray your way out!” That’s the answer to this riddle!

.

And if the answer to your prayer doesn’t seem to come, you pray some more!

.

And you just keep on praying!

.

And you pray, and pray, and pray some more!

.

And you never give up praying!

.

And you humble yourself before the Almighty Majesty of Heaven!

.

And you confess that you are a wretched sinner!

.

And you wait patiently, believing, doubting nothing!

.

And that is the way out of an iron-barred prison-cell, with seemingly no windows or doors.

.

Because there is no prison too strong, nor bars so thick, so that God cannot hear your cries for help!

.

Only wish I had known this following passage…

“Fools because of their transgression,

and because of their iniquities, are afflicted…

Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble,

and He saved them out of their distresses.

He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,

and brake their bands in sunder…

For He hath broken the gates of brass,

and cut the bars of iron in sunder…

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness,

and for His wonderful works to the children of men!”

Psalm 107:17, 13, 14, 16, 15

.

Yeah, this passage really says it all, concerning this young fool…me, back in the day when I was held in chains of darkness, in a prison made of iron, up there in Mental Ward #3600!

.

Unit 3600 Judgment Day RX-7 – inspired by Munch Painting, ‘The Scream of Nature’

.

.

.

.

“Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence?

.

If I ascend up into Heaven, Thou art there:

.

if I make my bed in Hell, behold, Thou art there.

.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me.

.

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

.

Yea, the darkness hideth not from Thee; but the night shines as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to Thee.

.

…when I awake, I am still with Thee…lead me in the way everlasting.”

.

Psalm 139:7-12, 17, 18

.

Brooklyn Museum – The Rich Man In Hell – James Tissot – Wikipedia – US Public Domain

Sunset & The Seagulls- Commons Attribution 2.0 license.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To go to next Chapter, just click the following link…

.

Ch. 17: “Silent Night”

.

The spirits take a vacation to get a much-needed rest, and I go to the coast!

.

.

 

.

.

There was a guy from high school, and let’s call him, Steve.

.

He seemed like such a nice guy. A good athlete.

.

Always was smiling and joking.

.

A well-liked person at school.

.

But some years after high school, Steve took his own life.

.

Rumors circulated that he was having religious delusions, and some even blamed it on the long northern winter nights, where he was then stationed.

.

Well, maybe that’s true…Steve just got very depressed with those long winter nights. Lots of people do.

.

Nevertheless, as you read this chapter, maybe you might gain some doubts, as you read of what happened to me…

.

The Scream – by E. Munch – Wikipedia – public domain by edvard munch c.1893

.

.

.

.

.

CHAPTER 15:

.

“IT AINT OVER TILL IT’S OVER”

.

.

.

.

I can’t recall how long this bizarre “contest” continued…probably about a month.

Oh, maybe less.

Or maybe more.

.

The TV continued to terrorize me.

.

Patients continued to make taunting innuendos.

.

Visitors would say things that had some vague encouragements, hidden ‘between the lines’.

.

But as I recall, just about everything and everyone were being used by the spirits to communicate to me, whatever hidden message I was supposed to receive.

.

It seemed as if some messages were for my encouragement, but others, simply to terrorize me!

.

In spite of any encouragements, I was losing every single test!

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

RX7 – Unit 3600 – inspired by Scream by Munch

.

.

.

.

.

THE HOUR OF RECKONING

.

Well, the time came for these frightening tests, and this horrific game of Chess-With-The-Devil, to finally end.

.

I can’t really remember the details of just how it all came to a finale.

.

All I do remember is that there was not one single test that I passed.

.

It was a total flop!

.

But I can recall how the message came to me, to let me know just how I did.

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

.

.

.

.

.

THE PUZZLE

.

The next day, the spirit directed me to do a puzzle from one of those miscellaneous puzzle magazines.

.

This particular puzzle was some sort of maize, in which I moved the pencil around from the letters “A” to “Z”.

.

And honestly, I can just barely recall the details of this puzzle.

.

But I do remember this: by the time I reached the letter “Z”, there was either something on the puzzle…

…or something spoken on the TV, which was playing just a few feet away.

…or maybe something spoken in my mind. anyway, something was conveyed to my mind, regarding the end of the world by a nuclear holocaust.

.

And just as I reached the last letter, “Z”, either this puzzle, or the TV, or simply the spirit communicated to me there was for certain, going to be a doomsday holocaust!

.

And the spirit quickly and chillingly chided me, by saying “Now you know it…from ‘A’ to ‘Z’!”

.

I got the message! I had lost this contest, and now the world was going to explode…all because of me!!!

.

Now as I said, I cannot recall whether the puzzle said this, or the spirit, or somebody on TV made this terrifying statement, “Now you know it…from ‘A’ to ‘Z’!”

.

But upon hearing this, I quickly turned away from the TV!

.

Sheer terror ran through my already chilled blood-veins!

.

So, there I was, walking nervously around the ward, pacing back and forth, perhaps, trying to convince myself that I hadn’t lost these games!

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Castle – romeo2 – nuclear bomb – Wikipedia – Public Domain – #9699d9

.

.

.

.

.

THE FOOTBALL GAME

.

Sometime, a little later, the spirit indicated that I should watch the football game currently playing on the TV.

.

And it was a crucial game.

.

Not just for the two football teams, but also for me!

.

Because this was the chosen means for the spirits to let me know how I did in the mental ward games.

.

I was still devastated over the rapture that didn’t happen, and my lack of faith which resulted in that failed rapture.

.

But now this football game was on.

I can’t remember who was playing.

.

But the spirits were leading me to believe there was a reason why one team represented ‘the bad guys’, and a reason for the other team as ‘the good guys’.

.

I think ‘the good guys’ team was either the Patriots or the Saints.

.

And probably the bad guys had a conversely bad something or other about their name.

.

I really can’t remember.

.

But I was impressed that one particular team represented my team, and the other team represented the bad spirits.

.

I hadn’t followed football since my childhood years, so I wasn’t up on who’s who.

.

But this particular game I cared about!

.

Oh yeah! The stakes were very high!

.

Souls were hanging in the balance!

.

The ‘good guys’ were winning!

.

It looked like they were a ‘shoe-in’.

.

This went on for most of the game.

.

And then the ‘bad guys’ all of a sudden rallied and brought about a last-minute defeat over ‘the good guys’.

.

I don’t remember the score, or even which team was ‘the good guys’.

.

But I did know that my team lost.

.

I suppose there were a lot of disappointed fans that day.

.

Normally I couldn’t have cared less.

.

But now the spirit was impressing on my mind that this game was the indicator as to how well or how badly I was doing in these mental ward games.

.

And since my team had lost, I feared that this entire ordeal I’d been going through for several weeks, was going down in flaming defeat!

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Super-Bowl XLIII Thunderbirds Flyover wikipedia public-domain.

.

.

.

.

.

THE FACE OF GOD…

.

The spirit then directed me to go to my room and lay down.

.

The spirit was urging me to go into one of my trances.

.

He indicated to me that I was going to see ‘The Face of God’.

.

And so, I did what I ‘normally’ did.

.

My eyes began to cross.

.

It felt like my eyes were going very slowly around in a 360-degree rotation.

.

I’m sure they didn’t.

But it felt like they did.

.

Nevertheless, this was how the spirit had me go into these trances.

.

Anyway, I was gonna see ‘The Face of God!’

.

Or at least, that’s what I was told.

.

I didn’t know what I would see, or how I would see ‘The Face of God’.

.

But I kept this up.

.

Of course, as I was crossing my eyes, the ceiling tiles appeared to be crossing as well.

.

I kept straining and straining my eyes.

.

These rather old-fashioned, 12-inch-square asbestos ceiling tiles with little holes dotted throughout, kept appearing to converge together.

.

But finally, my crossed eyes made the ceiling tiles seem to cross each other in such a way that I saw what the spirit actually wanted me to see.

.

I was so shocked and amazed!

.

But it wasn’t ‘The Face of God’.

.

No, instead my crossed eyes made those tiles appear like a GOAT’S HEAD!!!

.

The ceiling tiles came together, and meshed into the shape and similitude of a pencil drawing of a GOAT’S HEAD!

.

(The little dot-like holes, together with the straight edges of each 12 x 12-inch tile square, converged in such a way as to make them appear like the head of a goat! And how these spirits knew in advance this would happen shows how clever they actually were!)

.

And I knew the joke was on me…AGAIN!!

.

Of course, even though I knew I’d “been had” by these incredibly intelligent spirit beings, I didn’t know that goats were a very prominent animal in Scripture.

.

I knew nothing about the parable of the “sheep and goats” or anything about the temple service in which both sheep and goats were used as sacrifices.

.

And I knew nothing about the Scapegoat in that temple service.

.

I just instinctively knew that God doesn’t have a head like a stupid goat!

.

chess – checkmate by Friedriech Moritz August Retzsch wikigallery.org

Cross-eyed – Not me, but an unknown individual – cropped & altered image – Wikimedia – Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Goat Eating Weeds – wikimedia – public-domain.jpg

.

.

.

.

.

THE EXODUS

.

The chess players seemed to be all getting ready for discharge.

.

The Shah was getting so bad, they transferred him away to the regular part of the hospital.

.

This football game showed that I had lost the mental ward games.

.

There were no more games for me to play.

.

The Shah was the “king” in this bizarre chess-like game!

.

With him gone, it was all over!

.

Now there was only complete silence.

.

I felt the controlling power of the spirit leaving my body.

.

It seemed like I was all alone again.

.

All this spirit stuff seemed to be totally gone!

.

It was like they all packed their bags and left town.

.

Just like that old Don McClean song, “Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie”.

.

You know, where it says regarding the “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost…They caught the last train for the coast.”

.

I felt like they were leaving me forever!

.

And I was left alone to ponder the enormous consequences, which failing the contest was sure to bring!

.

I lost the mental ward patients!

.

I lost the residents of Oregon!

.

I lost the citizens of the U.S., and I lost the entire Middle East!

.

And now there would be a nuclear war which would result in world-wide annihilation!

.

All because of me!

.

BN caboose, Eola Yard, 1993 by Sean Lamb for Wikipedia – share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

HORROR MOMENT!

.

Words cannot convey the enormity of this situation.

.

The spirits had condemned me for something so terrible.

.

It was beyond belief!

.

It was sheer terror!

.

It was as if I was in a horror movie!

.

But this all was for real!!!

.

Now, had I been familiar with the Bible, I might have shrugged the whole thing off, as “just another satanic attack”.

.

But I didn’t know the Bible.

.

And so, the spirit could tell me anything, and I would have to believe it.

.

And because there were so many other things confirming this, how could I doubt it was all true?

.

After all, living in an atheistic society, I’d never heard of anyone being in such contact with the spirit world: certainly nobody being told these horrendous things.

.

And it cannot be emphasized enough, that these spirits are powerful enough to completely dominate one’s thinking.

.

I was totally powerless to resist the thoughts coming into my mind!

.

I can sympathize with Judas Iscariot when he realized that he caused the death of Jesus.

.

And I was now a modern-day Judas Iscariot!

.

Atheist sign, Wisconsin State – wikipedia – share-alike license

.

.

.

.

.

MODERN-DAY JUDAS…

.

I thought about the millions of people who would lose their souls because of my stupendous blunder.

.

But more than this, I thought about the millions of persons who would be angry at me, once they found out that I had let them down!

.

The thought came into my mind that the “insiders” here in the ward would tear me limb-from-limb as a last act of vengeance.

.

I nervously looked over at the nurses station.

.

They were talking together.

.

Then one of them would glance over my way.

.

“Oh yeah” I said to myself. “They Know! They already know!”

.

And so, the hours passed by, until all was quiet in the ward.

.

And I just sat there in the dimmed lights of the mental ward.

.

No television jabbering! No “Born Free” booming on the stereo!

.

Just a few quiet conversations.

.

I thought about what was going to happen to me when everyone found out they were doomed.

.

The spirit began to terrify me with threatening forebodings.

.

They were going to cut me into little pieces as slowly and carefully as they could.

.

But they would do it in such a way as to keep me alive as long as possible!

.

And after this was completed, they would send these parts to many of the “insiders” elsewhere in the world.

.

Now for those of you who have studied the Bible, you are no doubt reminded of the story of the Levite and his Concubine, how he cut her dead body into pieces and sent those pieces into all the coasts of Israel (see Judges 19:29).

.

Well, I didn’t know it at this time, but obviously, the spirits knew that story!

.

Because, that’s the scenario they were presenting me with!

.

.

.

.

.

“HOPE YOU ARE…QUITE PREPARED TO DIE!”

(Line from the hit song, “Bad Moon A-rising'”)

.

Desperate, I looked around for the highest thing I could jump from.

.

But the windows were barred, and the exit doors locked.

.

Just about the highest and most effective place I could think of, was my bed, which was a little higher than most of the other beds, as I recall.

.

And so I got up on my bed. I stood as high as I could.

.

And then I jumped as high as I could, and did a nose-dive, holding my arms by my side, hoping to crush my skull on the hard-tiled floor.

.

The next moment, I was laying on the floor looking up.

I failed.

Oh yes, my head hit the floor.

But it didn’t crush my skull!

.

So, I got up on the bed and repeated my dive.

Head-first into the floor.

This time I was looking up again.

.

But after this second attempt, the staff rushed in.

.

They no doubt heard the noises from both dives.

.

They picked me up and delivered me to a special room.

.

It was the same room from where I heard screaming, when I first arrived.

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

.

.

.

.

.

MY HANDS ARE TIED…FEET TOO!…

.

In the room was a bed that had high metal rails, all around.

.

Kind-of like an over-sized crib.

.

The bed also had straps, that attached to each arm and each leg.

.

They called these, “restraints”.

.

They put me in the restraints, and there I lay.

Oh, I don’t know.

For several hours, maybe.

.

But then after those hours passed by, for some reason, they let me out of the restraints.

.

.

.

.

.

THE “NOT-SO-FUNNY PAPERS”…

.

“THE EARTH AND THE WORKS THEREIN SHALL BE BURNED UP”

2nd Peter 3:10

.

It was somewhat late in the evening.

.

I went out of my room to one of the tables in the dimly lit main hall.

.

There were some newspapers, and so I decided to peruse them.

.

Nothing intense.

.

Just browse.

.

You know, something to get my mind off my troubles.

.

I came across an ad for a “Fire Sale”.

.

It said “everything must go”.

.

All of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks!

.

This ad was to me!

.

It was a hidden message!

.

The ad had something about it that just seemed weird.

.

At least it did to me. It gave the date of the fire sale, and I took it to indicate the date of the nuclear annihilation of the world.

.

This was probably put in the paper by the spirits or maybe an “insider”.

.

.

.

.

.

“NANCY”…

.

”LET THEM BE CUT IN PIECES” (Psalm 58:7)

.

I next started reading the Sunday comic section.

.

It seemed that most or all had similar hidden messages.

.

For instance, one comic strip, Nancy was angry at her brother, and she looked at him.

.

And the brother looked like his body was sliced up into little pieces, like he was a jig-saw puzzle.

.

At the time it seemed like this was a cryptic message about me getting cut up into little pieces by the insiders.

.

Now that I look back, I finally get the joke.

.

Nancy looked at her brother as though he was a big puzzlement.

.

Hence the brother who looked like jig-saw puzzle pieces.

.

Pretty funny actually.

.

But at that moment it was terrifying, because I was getting an entirely different message than the intended joke.

.

And most of the other comics had some similar hidden message, maybe not quite as direct as the Nancy comic.

.

Nancy – by Ernie Bushmiller – (June 5, 1960) – Fair Use Rationale – Wikimedia – Click here for Fair-Use Rationale Guidelines – Could not find suitable free replacement on Internet – reduced size & quality

.

.

.

.

.

“QUEENA LENA”…

.

And then there was another ad for mobile homes.

.

It had a little poem about a lady named, “Queena Lena”.

.

This caught my eye, since that was my dear Grandmother’s name (this was my other Grandma, not my, “Driving Miss Daisy”, Grandma Imah).

.

This ad went something like this…

“Queena Lena found a diamond in the rough.

But all she had was an agate to trade.

So, she traded away that agate for this diamond.

And she now lives happily ever after.”

.

I’m not sure exactly how that ad went, but something like that.

.

Anyway, as I read this, I was convinced this was talking about me.

.

I was that worthless agate! I was that agate which my grandma was going to trade in.

.

And she will live forever, now that she traded in the worthless agate (me).

.

My grandma Lena was really a very sweet little lady.

.

As humble a person as you’d ever meet.

.

So, I had no trouble thinking that she was heaven-bound.

.

And she did have at least, one picture of Jesus hanging in her home.

.

And this comic seemed to say that my grandma was gonna escape the doom that was sure to soon come (even though this newspaper ad was merely about buying a mobile home).

.

And so, I became very frightful of what lay in store for me.

.

That Nancy comic really ‘nailed it’ as to what I could expect at any moment.

.

And so,after reading these comics, and every other comic, they all convinced me that I was gonna get sliced into itsy-bitsy little pieces… soon.

.

VERY SOON!!!

.

And then I was gonna be thrust into Hell.

.

BURNING HELL!!! FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

#3 SUICIDE ATTEMPT…

.

”ONE EYE IS TAKEN FOR AN EYE”…

(Line from the song, “Bad Moon A-rising'”)

.

I can’t remember how I spent the rest of the night.

.

But I do know that all these things were spelling the word, “doom!”

.

Not only my doom, but the doom of the entire planet.

.

All because of my terrible failure of the Mental Ward Games!

.

The next morning, I was still intent on doing myself in.

.

I saw a nurse with scissors in her pocket.

.

I walked up to her and grabbed the scissors.

.

And before anyone could stop me, I held the sharp end to my right eye.

.

I fell face-flat to the ground, still holding the scissors to my eye, hoping to penetrate my brain, thus killing myself.

.

I fell just right.

.

But the next thing I knew, they were picking me up from the floor.

.

It seems the scissors only glanced off the bone of my nose.

.

Before I knew it, I was back in the restraint room.

.

I was laying face down on a gurney.

.

There were about four or five nurses around me.

.

I didn’t have my shirt on.

.

They were all standing around me, talking.

.

I should say, whispering.

.

I couldn’t really make out what they were saying.

.

But as they talked, one of them would make an imaginary line across my back with her finger.

.

And then another line with her finger.

.

This actually felt like getting a nice massage (even though I figured that they must be deciding how to slice me up into little pieces).

.

But their whispering and drawing lines on my back, and the ever-present low-hum of the air-system put me to sleep.

.

About 11 pm that night, they let me out of restraints.

.

I was still in the Restraint Room.

.

They decided to make that my permanent sleeping quarters.

.

By now, the desire to kill myself had somewhat lessened.

.

They allowed me to smoke.

.

So, I began to smoke as I was sitting on the floor, back to the wall (don’t forget, this was still 1979).

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

Scissors Photo – Wikipedia, public domain.

.

.

.

.

.

BAD MOON A-RISING: “Run to the moon, moon won’t ya hide me…the Lord said Sinnerman, the moon will be a bleedin’, all on that day!“

.

After this attempt, they put me back in restraints for a while.

.

It was late at night.

.

The moon had arisen outside my window, as if now watching, watching, down at the earth in horrified astonishment!

.

The spirit back in control of my body to a certain extent.

.

I knew the spirit wanted me to do something.

.

I asked him, “What should I do?”

.

In response he made my head slowly turn toward the bathroom.

.

I took this to mean that he wanted me to go to the bathroom and kill myself by drowning myself.

.

He let me know that he was in control of my body enough to hold me under the water long enough to get the mission accomplished.

.

I asked him for permission to finish my pack of cigarettes.

.

But as I smoked them, he took control of my body so that I began puffing incessantly.

.

And to make things even more miserable, he kept turning my head cryptically back toward the bathroom, as if to say, “Hurry up and get it over with!”

.

So,5 I was puffing and puffing, and turning and turning my head toward the bathroom between each puff.

.

.

.

.

.

.

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME

(Title of the 1950 Ella Fitsgerald song, composed by George Gershwin in 1926)

.

But before I finished my pack, the staff had someone come in to watch over me.

.

So, I knew this was why the spirit was so impatient.

.

He knew they would bring someone in soon, making it harder for me to kill myself.

.

But when they did come in, I felt the spirit release his control over my body.

.

So, I knew I’d better get the deed over with.

.

And so, I told them I had to use the restroom.

.

I went in, closed the door, and urinated and threw my last cigarette and started to flush.

.

But the spirit prevented me from flushing indicating that it would be much more fitting to not flush.

.

This made sense.

.

So, I stuck my head in the urine-filled toilet and held myself under as long as I could.

.

The staff must have heard me, and they came running in and began pulling me out.

.

But it was quite a struggle.

.

But finally, they overpowered me away from the toilet.

.

Needless to say, I was back in restraints in my crib-like restraint-bed.

.

After a while these merciful nurses decided to let me out.

.

They had a nurse come to my room and sit with me, to keep watch.

.

The nurse tried to give therapy as to what was troubling me, and how could I overcome my problems.

.

Meanwhile I was trying to go into a trance to communicate with the spirit.

.

She no doubt thought I was totally whacked out.

.

And for all intents and purposes, I was…whacked out!

.

Jukebox – Wikimedia – cropped image – Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 Global license

.

.

.

.

.

“Well then, Satan, Satan wontcha hide me!”…

.

Seeing that I didn’t have many options open to me as far as this planet was concerned, the thought came to me of the possibility of playing organ in Hell.

.

After all, I was under the notion that Hell was somewhat like “Dante’s Inferno” (I didn’t specifically know about Dante’s Inferno at this time, but I was presented with this concept by the spirits)

.

Anyway, the thought came to me that playing organ for the Devil might be less torment than what I would otherwise experience as just another sinner in Hell.

.

I realize how funny this might seem to someone.

.

But for those who believe the old traditional Catholic version of Hell, why would this seem illogical?

.

For those who hold to this view of Hell, I guess the only illogical aspect to this, is to think that I’d have a chance to be chief organ player!

.

After all, just think of all the competition I’d have for the job!

.

Just think of the long lines there would be, if there ever was a job-opening down there!

.

I mean, playing organ would be infinitely better than boiling in a vat of burning oil.

.

It would even be better than freezing in the River Styx!

.

And anyway, I’m a piano-player!

.

Oh yeah, I once played a combo-organ in our little pop band back in high school.

.

But playing a big church-organ is a ‘whole different animal’, as they say, than playing piano, or even a combo-organ.

.

But on the other hand, I’d have a lotta time to re-learn!

.

But until I did re-learn, I can just imagine all the boos and jeers by everyone as I was playing some really bad organ music!

.

Yoke pipe organ – wikipedia – public domain

.

.

.

.

.

“BRING YOUR RUNNING SHOES WHEN YA PLAY THIS ROOM !”…

.

I remember one night (on this Earth) when I actually was jeered so bad, I had to make a quick exit from an angry mob (Maybe this is a little bit of an exaggeration.)

.

But can you imagine all the billions of the disgruntled throngs down in Hell throwing tomatoes, or balls of brimstone (or whatever) at me, as I was trying to get on-the-job experience as an organ player?

.

And if you really wanna think this thing through, can you imagine how good the organ-player must be who currently holds the job?

.

After all, he’s had that job for, well, who knows how long!

.

And anyway, why would he even think of resigning such a cushy job?

.

So, he could go back to the vats?

.

Or back to the freezing River Styx?

.

This wishful desire just didn’t make any logical sense!

.

Of course, “logical sense” was never exactly my strongest character trait!

.

Anyway, I never thought all this “Organ Playing in Hell” idea through, back there in the mental ward.

.

So please humor me as I just now have been musing on that crazy idea I had back then!

.

But though I muse, be assured this was not the least bit funny at the time!

.

But this incident really did happen!

.

I actually did seriously consider this!

.

And I’ve just stated… it wasn’t a bit funny at that moment!

.

No, it wasn’t one bit funny! At all!

.

But there was one last gig I knew was definitely gonna be awaiting me very soon: yeah, that gig was an eternity of me…screaming for mercy as I am roasting in HELL-FIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Hell photo – Wikipedia, public domain.

.

.

.

.

.

.

To go to the next chapter, just click here …

.

Ch. 16: “And then it still ain’t over!“

.

Yogi Berra was correct of course, when he said “It ain’t over till it’s over, and then it still ain’t over”

.

So, the question to be answered is: How do you escape when you’re in an iron room with no doors or windows?

.

Is it all over?

.

Well, just read this next chapter to find out.

.

It’s all about just that kind of situation!

.

But like Yogi added, or at least should have added, “…and then it still ain’t over!”

.

.